UPJOKE
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I’ve invented a biro with a bell attachment.

Patent pen ding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy sent me some pornographic films in an email attachment.

Sigh *unzips*

Do You Know How I Know I Have A Buddhist Vacuum Cleaner?

It doesn't have any attachments

I never understood people's fanatic attachment to their clothes..

..it's just sew material.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voodoo Dick

There once was a businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was of a flirtatious sort, and so he thought to find something to keep her occupied while he was away. So he went to a sex store to find something special for his wife. He asked the old man in the shop...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat do...

Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star Plans?

The Jedi Code forbids attachments.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What did Robocop say when they gave him a penis attachment?

"Dead or alive, you're cumming with me"

Fun fact: It is confirmed that monks are allowed to use email.

Just as long as there are no attachments.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I asked a monk if they were allowed to send emails

He said yes as long as there are no attachments

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

I got a Buddhist email today

There was no attachment.

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< Athletes foot! >

I made up this joke in 2010

........................................................

A very active runner was hit by a power shovel. The affect was to shear his privates off. When he got to the hospital the doctor tried to reattach it, but to no avail. The doctor then noticed that...

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

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