I’ve invented a biro with a bell attachment.

Patent pen ding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An All Time Classic Joke

*A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knows his wife is always horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her screwing someone else.*

*So he went to a store that sold sex toys and starte...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.

They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to setup a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy sent me some pornographic films in an email attachment.

Sigh *unzips*

Why do many Buddhists don't like to use email?

Because they don't like attachments.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

I asked a monk if they were allowed to send emails

He said yes as long as there are no attachments

I never understood people's fanatic attachment to their clothes..

..it's just sew material.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

< Athletes foot! >

I made up this joke in 2010

........................................................

A very active runner was hit by a power shovel. The affect was to shear his privates off. When he got to the hospital the doctor tried to reattach it, but to no avail. The doctor then noticed that...

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

Why do Star Wars Jedi absolutely hate having to open PDF files ?

Because attachments are forbidden.

I got a Buddhist email today

There was no attachment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] What did Robocop say when they gave him a penis attachment?

"Dead or alive, you're cumming with me"

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme?

Because attachments are forbidden.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

Why don't lightsabers have picatinny rails?

Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments.

I had to return my Buddhist vacuum...

It came with no attachments.

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