UPJOKE
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Two guys become best friends in high school, bonding over their similar tastes in music.

After a while, one guy notices that whenever his friend is in a relationship, all he listens to is Liz Phair songs. And whenever he’s single, he goes back to his normal genres.

After high school, the two enlist together. During their first tour, the guy notices his friend is once again seemi...

What did the negative electron say when electrovalent bonding?

Up-n-atom.



P.s. Sorry, first joke here. Not sure if OC yet but hope you enjoyed it!

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My buddy tracked down his long lost father and arranged to meet him at a dairy queen.

He got there and they started to hit it off.

Everything was going really well, they were bonding and getting to know each other.

Then my buddy’s dad explained how he lost both his feet during the war.

My buddy lost his shit, went crazy, started throwing things and was thrown o...

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows.”

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown.”

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to b...

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A shipwrecked man washes up onto a deserted beach.

He meets a couple that's also stranded there. He and the wife immediately lock eyes and feel the chemistry for some genital bonding.

The Husband tells the Stranger: "hey man, see that tall coconut tree over there? We take turns all day climbing it to the top and seeing if any ships are approa...

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An H+ ion and a hydrogen atom were bonding

"No homo?" the hydrogen atom asks.
"No homo," the H+ ion says sadly.

You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons.

Isn’t that Ionic?

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Why is it that when guys pledging a fraternity do it it's considered "bonding" and "building a brotherhood"..

.. but when me and my friends do it it's "weird" and "anal sex"

Father daughter bonding. NSFW.

A six year old girl was brushing her teeth when her mother got out of the shower. Shocked, the girl pointed to her mother's chest and said "What are those?" "Well, you'll get them in a few years, honey" her mother replies. a few days pass and the girl is brushing her teeth again, when her father ...

I liked the new show Bonding on Netflix but it was too short.

Just like Fred.

My chemistry teacher was talking about Hydrogen Bonding today.

Sounds like a lot of FON.

So Hydrogen finally admitted to Sodium that she had been bonding with Oxygen

Sodium reacted violently.

Father Son Bonding

A teen boy hears his mother screaming late one night, walks into his parents bedroom and is horrified when the boy sees his father going at his mom from behind... the father turns his head and notices the boy. Without stopping, the dad smiles and winks at his son then waves at him to leave the room....

And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars

"Cancer?"

"Cancer."

Two Helium Atoms Are Bonding.

HeHe

They say in order to help with bonding newborns take on characteristics of their fathers.

Sure enough, my son was born with large features, a furrowed brow, and complained about nerve damage from his knee surgery.

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What's the difference between family bonding and family bondage?

One is forced and borderline torture, the other is sex.

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