An illiterate man and Albert Einstein are sitting together on the train.

Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.

Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?

Ein...

What the worst thing about being an illiterate wizard?

You can't spell.

The Illiterate Farmer

A group of learned professors chose to spend a relaxing vacation at a remote farm - far from the maddening crowd of the city they lived in.

Their host was a simple farmer who had never seen the inside of a school.

The professors were astonished to see the order and discipline by which ...

What is the scariest dinosaur for the illiterate?

A Thesaurus

I read that 73% of apple farmers are functionally illiterate

But it's okay, because they can still live fruitful lives.

My brother is illiterate

It was his 16th birthday party this past weekend, and boy was it awkward. He just couldn't read the room.

You shouldn't say bad stuff about illiterate people,

You should write it.

They gave me the ‘most illiterate kid in school’ award

I was so upset that I couldn’t even read my speech

Illiterate? Me?

Don't know the meaning of the word.

Once a woman from a big city...

Once a woman from big city got married to a man who used to live in the forest with his tribe. That man was illiterate and have never been to a city before and the same goes for his tribe and his family.
After the marriage, the woman moved to his husband house in the village.
On her first mo...

People call me illiterate...

But I know for sure my parents were married.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the illiterate man with the 11 foot penis get dumped by his girlfriend?

TLDR

An illiterate man writes a book

The end.

An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astrology went camping.

They unpacked and set up their tent. After dinner they went to sleep. A few hours later dad woke and was looking at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, "what do you see?"

He son said, "astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there,"

His father...

Why did the wife of the illiterate well-endowed man want a divorce?

TL;DR.

Did you hear about the illiterate wizard?

He couldn't even spellbook.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So an illiterate man signs a deal with the devil.

The devil appeared to the man one day and said "If you are willing to give me a soul, I will grant you all of your heart's desires, but you will have to deliver your soul to me on your final day, I will tell you when it comes"
The man, without a second thought, agreed to this.
20 years later, ...

A man walks into a bar for illiterate people. The bartender says, "Don't you hate it when people tell jokes that have specific details about situations that would never happen in real life, just so they can make some dumb pun?" The man, nodding, replies,

"I no write."

Dear illiterate people of reddit, why did you not take the opportunity to learn to read and write?

Can't wait to read all your answers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Things I've learned from video games

My mother has been fucked to death many times.

I'm really a cigarette in disguise.

I'm also actually of African descent, my father will be very upset to find that one out. Though my real father is probably one of those random people who fucked her to death.

A lot of people are m...

I have been told that you can't make fun of illiterates

But you can if you write the jokes down.

An illiterate Father went camping with his highly educated Son...

As they walk through the wildness the son boasts about how being educated makes him appreciate nature, evolution, etc. To which the father just shrugs and continues along.

When they reach their camping site, they set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Unable to sleep properly, the father w...

I tried to teach my illiterate nymphomanic girlfriend the alphabet.

But she only wanted the D.

I'm testing this joke here before i try it on my critics of mates.

My dad was an illiterate pirate

Tragically, he was lost at C.

I recently found out that my aunt is both a bigot and illiterate when...

she refused to shop at the local fabric store because they were having a sale, but it was only for muslins.

I went to an illiterate psychic

I couldn't get a reading

This guy was so computer illiterate...

When told to turn on a computer, he asked where he's supposed to rub it. :P

An old man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"

Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!


"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.

A Yiddish speaking newcomer to America took his pregnant wife to the hospital, but during the delivery, when he found out they were twins, he fainted.

He didn't regain consciousness for a few days so his brother was brought in to help name the children.

"My brother named my kids?!" he exclaimed when he woke up. "But my brother is illiterate! And he can't even speak any English. Okay, so what did he name the girl !?"

"He named her Den...

A few jokes...

1. Why do dogs wag their tails? Because no one else will do it for them.
2. A zombie got a new girlfriend. He introduces her to his friend, who says: "Wow, she's a hottie. Where did you dig her up?"
3. Image living in an ice globe city. The weather reports would be interesting: "Chance of an ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Medical Friend Just Sent Me This Lockdown Update

THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE LIFTING RESTRICTIONS IN PARKS AND BEACHES DURING THE EASTER BREAK.

The Government has announced today that, for the Easter break, certain groups are allowed to go to parks and Beaches and invite friends round for BBQ’s.

IMPORTANT- PLEASE READ

While the maj...

What a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

The Soviet Union, 1927

A village is celebrating the anniversary of the revolution. The mayor gives s speech.

"We have accompliced so much during the last ten years! Look at Mikhail Pavlovich, before the revolution he was starving and illiterate. Today he is the best tractor driver in the village!"

People che...

"I'm not a fool..."

An illiterate man loses his cheque book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your cheque book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: I am not a fool... I already signed all the cheques, so there is no space to forge my...

Knock, Knock!

Who's there?

To.

To who?

It's to whom, you illiterate fool.

I put the cool into school

And the lit into illiterate

They asked me if I played a reed instrument,

but i’m illiterate

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NBC President Flies Into Rage After Network Fails to Produce Industry Minimum Ten Cop Shows‏

NEW YORK - During a staff meeting this week, NBC President of Entertainment Robert Greenblatt erupted into a profanity-laced tirade when he was informed that the network's new season of prime-time dramas and comedies failed to meet The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) requ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.