Illiterate Jokes

Einstein: Let's play a game to pass some time. I'll ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. If I can't answer a question from you, I'll give you $50.

Illiterate man: I'll go first. What has 3 legs in the morning, 4 legs in the afternoon, and 8 legs at night?

Ein... read more

You can't spell.

You should write it.

They get expelled!

Don't know the meaning of the word.

He couldn't even spellbook.

A Thesaurus

A group of learned professors chose to spend a relaxing vacation at a remote farm - far from the maddening crowd of the city they lived in.

Their host was a simple farmer who had never seen the inside of a school.

The professors were astonished to see the order and discipline by which ... read more

You follow the unwritten rules

The end.

It was his 16th birthday party this past weekend, and boy was it awkward. He just couldn't read the room.

But I know for sure my parents were married.

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

But it's okay, because they can still live fruitful lives.

I was so upset that I couldn’t even read my speech

TL;DR.

Tragically, he was lost at C.

I couldn't get a reading

As they walk through the wildness the son boasts about how being educated makes him appreciate nature, evolution, etc. To which the father just shrugs and continues along.

When they reach their camping site, they set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Unable to sleep properly, the father w... read more

Can't wait to read all your answers.

They unpacked and set up their tent. After dinner they went to sleep. A few hours later dad woke and was looking at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, "what do you see?"

He son said, "astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there,"

His father... read more

But you can if you write the jokes down.

When told to turn on a computer, he asked where he's supposed to rub it. :P

But she only wanted the D.

I'm testing this joke here before i try it on my critics of mates.

An illiterate man loses his cheque book, so he goes to the bank 2 days later to report it.

Bank manager: I warned you to be careful with your cheque book, because anyone can forge your signature.

Man: I am not a fool... I already signed all the cheques, so there is no space to forge my... read more

she refused to shop at the local fabric store because they were having a sale, but it was only for muslins.

Yes of course, said the doctor, why not!


"Oh How nice it would be, I have been illiterate for so long" replied the old man with joy.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

It's to whom, you illiterate fool.

"I no write."

He didn't regain consciousness for a few days so his brother was brought in to help name the children.

"My brother named my kids?!" he exclaimed when he woke up. "But my brother is illiterate! And he can't even speak any English. Okay, so what did he name the girl !?"

"He named her Den... read more

And the lit into illiterate

There’s a guy that lives in a village that is rich but illiterate. So, one day his friend whose well educated visits him and in conversation tells him that he should get an education. The guy’s like why?
The friend replies:”It makes you wise.”
The guy says:”How?”
The friends asks him:”Well ... read more

but i’m illiterate

A village is celebrating the anniversary of the revolution. The mayor gives s speech.

"We have accompliced so much during the last ten years! Look at Mikhail Pavlovich, before the revolution he was starving and illiterate. Today he is the best tractor driver in the village!"

People che... read more

St. Peter met them at the Pearly Gates and welcomed them to heaven. "Welcome, my dear sisters. We are glad to have you here, but unfortunately, we are having some issues with restructuring at the moment, so all souls that come here for the next week will be allowed to live a week in the life of a pe... read more

1. Why do dogs wag their tails? Because no one else will do it for them.
2. A zombie got a new girlfriend. He introduces her to his friend, who says: "Wow, she's a hottie. Where did you dig her up?"
3. Image living in an ice globe city. The weather reports would be interesting: "Chance of an ... read more

Once a woman from big city got married to a man who used to live in the forest with his tribe. That man was illiterate and have never been to a city before and the same goes for his tribe and his family.
After the marriage, the woman moved to his husband house in the village.
On her first mo... read more