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Bbq Jokes

Why do you never BBQ on your roof?

The steaks are too high!

Why aren't people allowed to bbq naked during hot, dry climates?

High risk of Bush fires.

What kind of grill does a spider bbq on?

A Weber.

I invited my erectile dysfunction support group over for a BBQ...

Nobody came.

My best friend went to prison because he kept stealing things from people's gardens. He was just released but my wife told me not to invite him to our BBQ next week.

I feel a bit bad. I hope he doesn't take a fence.

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A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.

He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million do...

What’s a librarians favorite thing to bring to a BBQ?

A shush kebab

Bob's first day in heaven:

God:... You're about to get your wings!

Bob:... Lemon pepper or BBQ ?

God:.... Get out.

I'm inviting friends over for BBQ chicken and blunts.

Let's kill two birds and get stoned!

Did'ya hear about the BBQ pitmaster who got a really bad massage?

It was all his fault though, he asked for a "Dry Rub."

Did you hear about the new Vietnamese noodle / southern BBQ fusion restaurant?

It's called Pho-Q

Nobody throws a BBQ as good as me

My record is 21 feet.

What happened to the cannibal that showed up late for BBQ?

He got the cold shoulder.

Why does BBQ sauce always win the race?

Because the other competitors are always plain Ketchup!

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I'm holding a charity BBQ for ppl who can't get an orgasm ..

If you can't cum, let me know

A joke my 9 yr old told at a BBQ we had over the weekend. He brought down the house.

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry!

I heard they just opened a BBQ restaurant near the top of Mt. Everest

Careful though, the steaks are high.

Why is having a BBQ not popular in Italy?

Spaghetti keep falling through the grill

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Sex is like eating BBQ

If you don't get it all over you... you didn't do it right

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Why wasn't Hitler invited to the BBQ?

Because he always burns the franks.

I went to a vegan BBQ

I thought the Vegan was overcooked

What's the worst thing about going to a Vegan BBQ?

The screaming.

Two vegans bump into eachother at a BBQ

"We must stop meating like this."

What's a BBQ pit master's least favorite massage?

A dry rub.

How do you know when there's a vegetarian at your bbq?

They'll tell you.

A regular guy walks into a really tall BBQ joint

The steaks were high

What do you call a BBQ pun?

A meataphor

What do you call an Ape cooking a BBQ?

A Gorilla

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Wrong size

Lady was trying on a dress.

Husband: “Your bum is as big as a BBQ pit!”

Later in bed, husband said, “Want to do it?”

Wife: “It’s a waste lighting up a BBQ pit for a small sausage.”

I dropped my weed in the BBQ while BBQing

The steaks have never been higher.

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“Grizzly found causing mayhem at a BBQ”

First, he mauled dad in the back garden. Then he cooked up some burgers, urinated in the punch and downed the lot of it.


The newspaper headline read: “Bear grills, drinks his own piss”

My friend who’s a werewolf brought his kids over to my BBQ. They tore my new couch into shreds

No wonder it’s called a litter

I went to this vegetarian BBQ party.

They smoked weed.

BBQ joke (OC)

“Mmmmmmm. This all reminds me of Fred. His motto was, “Low and slow.”

“He was seriously into barbecue, huh?”

“No, unfortunately, he was a pilot “

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Women close to Elon have said his semen taste kind of like BBQ.

They describe it as a “salty musk skeet”.

Why didn't the cannibal BBQ his victim's feet at the picnic?

He wanted to enjoy his meal without the mesquite toes

What is Lil Jon's favorite flavor of BBQ?

Mesquite squite squite.

...Forgive me I'm freshly smoked.

What's the difference between South Korean BBQ and American BBQ?

South Korean BBQ has more Seoul

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Sex is like pizza...

if you’re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the fuck you’re doing.

You're surely familiar with Murphy's Law, but do you know what Cole's Law is?

It's a cabbage salad, often served as a side dish at a BBQ.

Religious traditions

Back in the 1950's a Catholic neighbourhood was settling down to eat their Friday night fish when they smelled a delicious steak wafting from the recently-purchased house nearby. The men of the neighbourhood looked and saw their new neighbour having a BBQ. They looked at their fish but remained stoi...

An Australian Christmas

Australian Santa: What would you like for Christmas little girl?

Girl: A Barbie

**girl wakes up to find a Broil King BBQ under the tree**

How can you tell BBQ was smoked with dogwood?

Check the bark.

If Fred Durst opened a BBQ restaurant, he'd probably call it...

LIMP BRISKET

A grill master wanted to load up the grill with more BBQ, but he was running low on hot coals ...

So, he decided not to brisket.

What do you call three Barbies in a line?

BBQ

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A priest is on his way to church

Walking along side a lake when he comes upon a fisherman,
He was reeling in a fish,
The priest says “nice fish”,
The fisherman says “thanks this is the biggest somabitch I caught all day”,
The priest says “hey you shouldn’t talk to me like that, I’m a man of the cloth,
The fisherman s...

Two guys immigrate to Alabama

Two guys immigrate to Alabama and decide to have a small bet regarding which one of them can integrate better. They decide to meet in one year to decide the results.

After one year they meet up and the first guy goes: ''Every sunday I go to church and then Walmart. I only eat chicken, shrimps...

You know as long as you keep babies well fed they're usually pretty good...

But I like mine with a little BBQ sauce.

At a family BBQ party, grandma was smiling.

I asked her, "What's so funny grandma?"
She said, "All these people here are alive because I got laid".

Then little johnny said, "Well the jokes are on you grandma, because next time you get laid......... it will be in your coffin"

A Pakistani took over a BBQ restaurant, staff left and were replaced by a guy who did not know much English

When asked about what they did the guy defensively claimed "Only halal service. We separated, slaughtered and grilled ourselves"

Yesterday I attended a cannibal dinner where the food was cooked only on one side.

It was quite a half-assed BBQ.

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?”
“Eish-Yes. What you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.”
“Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society su...

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Jake and Dave on a camping trip (NSFW!)

Jake and Dave were on a camping trip. On the last day of their trip, they couldn't decide what to do. Jake wanted to go to the beach, Dave wanted to go hiking. So they split up for the day.

They met back up late at night at camp. Jake was like "Dude, my day was AWESOME! I went to the beach an...

Today my dinner plans were foiled...

Potatoes on the BBQ

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A man is trying to decide which woman to marry...

He is picking out of three women. In order to test which one he should marry he gave each one of them $5000 to see what they would do.

The first woman spends her money on new clothes, lingerie, and a total makeover. She tells him she did it because she loves him so much and wants to look gre...

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A priest and a rabbi are talking about their religions with one another. The priest leans over to the Rabbi and asks him if he’s ever eaten pork before....

The Rabbi says, “I’ve had it once.”

The priest says, “oh it’s fantastic, BBQ pulled pork is my favorite. You are really missing out.

The rabbi smirks and leans in and says to the priest, “well have you ever had sex before?”

Priest says,”yes I did once.”

Rabbi smiles an...

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"If It Flies, Floats, or Fucks:

**It's cheaper to rent!"**

So I guess it's not really a *joke* as much as it is a saying, but I found it really funny. I was at a BBQ joint, and the owner was arguing with his wife, then came over and said this to a group of us. Hope you guys find it funny and it's acceptable for r/Jokes!

At work they gave us cookies to remember the Apollo 11 launch.

I can't wait for the Apollo 1 memorial BBQ!

A Navy man, a Army man and an Airforce man try to figure out who is the best soldier ...

Army man starts: "I once jumped out of an aircraft 30 feet above ground and ran 5 miles to our camp."

Navy man: "That's nothing. I once jumped out of an aircraft 60 feet above the ocean and swam 10 miles to our camp."

Airforce man: "I once flew an aircaft to our camp, landed it safely ...

When your SO asks Daddy for ketchup at the family BBQ.

And you BOTH grab it at the same time.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed.



My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

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Billy Bob applying for a job...

Billy Bob is applying for a job at this big company and after the preliminary interview, one of the HR managers tells him: "You know, we'd love to take you, Billy Bob, we really do, but there's so many people applying for this job and you don't have any experience and don't have much of an education...

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A man goes to the doctor

Man: Doc, my dick is orange.
Doctor: Please undress and I will have a look.
The man does as asked and the doctor does his examinations. However, after 15 minutes of tests the doctor gives up.
Doctor: I have no idea why your penis is orange. Perhaps I can learn more by your daily routine. Te...

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What did the black kid get on his ACT?

BBQ sauce

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Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16

If anyone is still out there, I’m alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth. My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean. Down to 1599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory). Power still on, but for how long? Missing h...

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