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Assault And Battery Jokes

Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid were in jail

Turns out they were in for assault and battery

Trial

A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the t...

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested.

Assault and Battery





^im ^sorry

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life

the oracle took his glass orb, searched the mans future and told him “The numbers I see in your future are 3419807”

The man happy with these numbers, goes to a convenience store and buys a lottery ticket with his last few dollars and uses the numbers 3419807.

The next day the lottery n...

Did you hear about the guy who got pulled over?

The cops received a warrant and were able to search his car and they opened the glove box and ended up finding sodium chloride and a nine volt...

He got charged with assault and battery

Did you hear about the fish and chip shop owner that was taken to court?

He was charged with assault and battery.

What do you call NaCl and a 9 volt being thrown at you?

Assault and battery.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A police officer on a bike route sees 2 men arguing.

The officer slows down to observe, and to see if the argument would become violent. The 2 men are bitter, and get louder by the minute. Suddenly, they both reach into their pockets. The first man pulls out some sodium chloride and throws it at the second man, while the second man get a 9 volt and 2 ...

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