This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bloodhound tried for Nazi war crimes

He was only following odours.

As a philosopher I believe in the infinite universes theory

So there’s a universe where I didn’t commit 3 dozen war crimes against the children of Djibouti

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If being Smart and Sexy was a crime

I’d be on America’s Most wanted, not because I’m smart or sexy, but because I’ve committed various war crimes in Vietnam.


(This was probably done before.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is capitalization important?

because using chemicals to remove polish is just an annoying thing people have to do with their nails but using chemicals to remove Polish is one of hitler's war crimes.

You know your dad is drunk when

He stops turning the lights off in empty rooms


He leaves the front door unlocked past 4pm


The lines where he's mown the lawn look like a bowl of noodles


When his favorite hat falls and touches the ground, he acts like it was no big deal


When you as...

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