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War Crime Jokes

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If being Smart and Sexy was a crime

I’d be on America’s Most wanted, not because I’m smart or sexy, but because I’ve committed various war crimes in Vietnam.


(This was probably done before.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is capitalization important?

because using chemicals to remove polish is just an annoying thing people have to do with their nails but using chemicals to remove Polish is one of hitler's war crimes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Final exam at the FBI

Three men isolated from each other are sitting in a room. The examiner goes to the first man: "Go into the room in front of you, there is your girlfriend inside. She comitted a war crime. Take the gun and kill her." He goes inside and after 10 minutes he came out and said: "Im sorry, i can't do this...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bloodhound tried for Nazi war crimes

He was only following odours.

You know your dad is drunk when

He stops turning the lights off in empty rooms


He leaves the front door unlocked past 4pm


The lines where he's mown the lawn look like a bowl of noodles


When his favorite hat falls and touches the ground, he acts like it was no big deal


When you as...

Motel Coronavirus

Motel Coronavirus



On a dim dreary morning

Ceiling fan stirs the air

Stale beer and Doritos

Littered next to my chair

Just outside of my window

Saw a glimmer of light

My eyes were bloodshot and my head pounding

I hadn't slept all last ni...

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