Armpits Jokes

She enters a bus and, finding no seats, is forced to hold the railing on top with the other standing passengers.

A drunk man was standing next to her. "I really admire you ballerinas, you know.“

Confused, she responds," Why would you think I'm a ballerina?“

“It's obvious, " says... read more

Hands down the best girl I have known.

She sits at the end of the bar and raises her arm to call the bartender and a drunkard would say, "Hey, bartender.. give the ballerina a beer on me.."

This happened two more times and the bartender finally asks, "Tell me, I'm curious.. What makes you say that the woman at the end of the... read more

The clerk asks: "Would you like the ball deodorant?"

"No thanks, it's for my armpits."

One man, who has drunk at least fourteen beers already, says, "I'd like to buy the ballerina a beer!"

The bartender says, "Look, sir, I have met many women over the years. Some were more tomboyish than girly, others more girly than tomboyish, but none as tomboyish as this woman. For example, ... read more

They were under-armed.

She has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits.
She sits down raises her arm and says,"Bartender I would like a drink."
Theres an old drunk sitting next to her.
Slurring he says,"Barkeep I would like to buy the ballerina a drink."
She accepts,drinks it,raises her arm again to get... read more

Sunburned armpits.

A salesclerk comes up to her and asks what she's looking for.

"I'm looking for some deodorant for my boyfriend, but I don't know what kind he uses."

"Is it the ball type?"

"No," she replied. "It's for his armpits."

An Englishman in Sweden goes to the chemist:

Englishman - "I’d like to buy deodorant please" Swedish chemist - "Ball or aerosol?"
Englishman - “No, armpits"

A young woman had entered her dog in the dog show in the smooth-haired breed category. To give it an advantage, she went to the pharmacist for some hair remover. The pharmacist gave her the product requested and advised, "Just remember to keep your arms up for at least five minutes." "Errr... it's n... read more

He walks up and tells the chick behind the counter,

"Yeah I'm looking for some deodorant."

She says "OK, ball or aerosol?"

He looks at her a little confused...

"Nah armpits"

"Where's the deoderant?

"Ball or aerosol," he asked.

"No," I said, "it's for my armpits."

A woman takes her dog to the vet because it's having trouble hearing. The vet says, "Your dog has really thick hair in her ears and it's impacting her hearing. I'll trim it today, but to prevent this from happening in the future, go to the pharmacy and get some Nair."

So the woman goes to the... read more

Because the grass tickles their armpits.

She raise her arm showing off her hairy armpits and says “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” A drunk guy in the back says “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”

This goes on a few more times. “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”
... read more

How do you tell a French bride at her wedding?

She’s the one with the braided armpits.

After the long flight I desperately needed some stuff from my bag so without hesitation went to the closest shop. I asked the Spanish man behind the counter if he had any deodorant, he replied in a broken English accent “ball or aerosol” confused I said “no no just for my armpits please”

One of them finds a hair in the steak and calls the waiter to say:
“Waiter there’s a hair in my steak!”
The waiter nods and says “That’s because the chef uses his armpits to mash the meat”
“That’s disgusting” says the indignant diner
To which the waiter replies “You should see how he ma... read more

Mine is this: How do you pick out the Frenchmen in a room full of naked soldiers? They're the ones with sunburned armpits.

...bellies up to the bar and orders a beer. The place is mostly empty, just him at the bar, and he's been there a short while when in walks a gorgeous brunette. She looks around, not seeing him and then marches straight to the back of the joint and sits down at a corner table in the back with a cru... read more

One hot summer day, a cop gets a call about an indecent exposure. He rushes over to the address and is directed to the house next door where he sees an old woman, eating watermelon, dress hitched up to her waist, and no underwear on.

He walks up the driveway towards this woman about to arrest... read more

An Irish bath is when you stand at the sink and just wash your armpits. Some people call it a Gypsy bath, or an Italian shower. A French bath is when you just douse yourself in cologne.

Whatever you call it, it’s all just ethnic cleansing.

... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.

A woman goes the the vet to get her dog looked at because it isn't hearing what she says. And he says "He has a lot of hair in his ears, that's why he doesn't respond" So he takes Nair and puts it on a Q-tip and rubs it on the insides of his ears, and the dog is fine. The vet says "If you do this ev... read more