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Appealing Jokes

Why do women find Christian Grey so appealing?

Beats me.

I heard R Kelly is appealing his 30 year sentence.

Said he is gonna try to swap it for two 15's

My SO has a foot fetish which I've never found appealing. After a bit of pressure and experimenting, my SO finally won me over.

I ultimately accepted defeat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For some, looks are the most sexually appealing trait, while others are turned on by personality. But for me it’s all relative.

Relatives*

They say Trump isn't appealing to minorities...

...but according to the latest polls, he's winning 100% of the Naive American vote

Just what is it that makes Italian desserts so appealing?

One cannoli guess.

How do you make a kilogram of fat appealing?

Put a nipple on it

The candidates keep appealing to "Hard Working Americans"...

But what about the Reddit community?

A man dies and is waiting to be transported to heaven

He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ". The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey....

I was in court recently. The judge found me guilty of being 'Egotistical'

I am appealing

Why did the apple break up with the orange?

Because the banana was more appealing.

A husband rudely said to his wife that she had really let herself go and put on a lot of weight since they got married

The wife replied by saying before she got married she used to get home at night and look in the fridge but because nothing looked appealing she would go to bed. But now that she's married when she gets home at night she'd look in the bedroom but as nothing in there looks appealing she goes to the fr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

A judge called me egotistical and conceited

I think I'm appealing

I went to the grocery store today to buy some oranges and couldn’t find any that i wanted

none of them looked appealing


pls be nice, i thought of this in the shower :)

Why do potatoes look so good...

Because their APPEALING!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nomad was traveling through the desert with his camal.

After weeks of traveling all alone the man got very lonely and his camel began to look more appealing.
Eventually he couldn't take it anymore and decided he was going to fuck his camel.
No one was around and no one will ever know, he thought to himself.

That evening he got ready, dropp...

In court I was convicted of constantly boasting about how attractive I am

I’m appealing.

Just some cake, please

Nothing looked good on the chow hall/mess line, so he only selected a large piece of chocolate cake.

The cook asked him, "Is that all you're gonna eat?"

To which the sailor replied, "Yeah, the rest of the choices don’t look too appealing to me."

The cook grinned at the sailor a...

Why did Mrs. Banana marry Mr. Banana?

She found him appealing.

I met the man who invented the Big Mac today…

He was much smaller and less appealing than he looked in his photos…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Snatch eating frog

This woman goes to a pet store to purchase some dog food. She puts the bag of food up on the counter and notices a box full of frogs. She reads the sign on the box, and it says: “Snatch Eating Frogs... $20 each (comes with instructions).”

She looks around to see if anybody’s watching her and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the stripper bananas?

I found them appealing

Potatos aren’t very attractive

...until they’ve been with someone appealing for a while.

Why didn't the Orange want to be eaten?

Because he wasn't feeling appealing.

I had an idea for a suit made entirely of banana skins...

but no one seemed to find it very appealing.

Apple Store robbed

The Apple Store in Regents Street, London, was robbed this morning. Police are appealing for an iWitness!

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argume...

Removing the skin of an orange...

That's appealing.

Why was the monkey attracted to the paint?

Cuz it was yellow and appealing!


Sorry if this is bad. Seen too many of the same jokes here and I wanted to add an original joke.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

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