Animal Cruelty Jokes - 10 Hilarious Animal Cruelty Jokes

I'm 100 percent against

animal cruelty. Nothing makes me sadder than when my dog makes fun of me.

Today, I was jailed for animal cruelty for visiting r/Jokes.

They charged me for beating a dead horse.

A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary when the wife claimed that her and her husband hadn’t argued since their wedding night.

After being asked about how they did it, the wife explains that after their wedding ceremony, they went and took a little honeymoon in a horse and buggy. The horse walked ten miles and stopped, refusing to go further.

“That’s one.” Said the wife. The horse looked back, walked another five ...

It’s not true that air travel has become a circus.

Circuses may feature the same level of animal cruelty, sadness and clowns as air travel, but circuses actually start on time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog

Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.

Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.

Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all o...

An American patriot with amputated arms decides to replace them.

He obtains a pair of grizzly bear arms from a black market, and attaches them on his own, with the help of a friend.

He is arrested for contribution to animal cruelty and performing medical procedures unlicensed.

When taken to court, he gives a speech defending his right to bear arms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A translated joke

A man approaches a pig farmer and asks him what he feeds his pigs.

The farmer answers: "Oh the pigs? I just feed them whatever trash I have lying around".

The man is shocked, he says "Sir that is animal cruelty! I'll have to fine you 10000$!"

The next day another man approaches ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All women should be prosecuted..

..for animal cruelty, sitting on their pussies all the time.

The magician's Publicity Stunt.

I asked a magician for an \[OC\] joke to post on reddit. (Yes, I asked a magician and not a comedian, I don't know many comedians personally, sorry.)

.

Instead, I got a long winded story of his most popular magic trick. He probably made it all up, but here it is.

.

It w...

Blind man and a dog walk into a bar

A blind man and his service animal walk into a bar, the man grabs the dog by its tail and begins swinging it around in a wide circle. The bartender, appalled by this display of animal cruelty says "What the HELL do you think you're doing mister?". The blind man replies "Just having a look around."

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