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Animal Abuse Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

PETA claims that their ads have significantly reduced animal abuse...

But seeing those nude models in billboards and magazines spread have only made me beat my monkey harder

I would never joke about animal abuse.

That’s just beating a dead horse.

I physically force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials,

just to show him how good he has it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between animal abuse and animal cruelty?

. . . The size of your dick.

What do you get when you combine flour, water, sugar, salt, yeast, and animal abuse?

PETA bread.

There was a documentary on TV about animal abuse.

I felt lonely watching it by myself, so I made my dog watch it with me.

Whether he wanted to or not.

As i walk in the local shopping mall, a woman comes walking towards me

She asks me: "sir, do you have a moment for animal abuse?" As the good man I am, I say: "of course, madam." So i walked to the nearest dog and kicked it like a football. Apparently that was not what she meant...

A racist, an animal abuser and a murderer go into a bar.

The bartender says: "What will it be, officer?"

What do you get when you try to breed a dog and a wolf?

2 counts of animal abuse and the ending of Old Yeller

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Was accused of animal abuse for using an electric collar

but bitch kept calling it "domestic violence"

Did you hear about the man who hit my ex?

He gold arrested for animal abuse

I thought we had the right to bear arms

but when I got them I was arrested for animal abuse

Amish Brakes

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy
when she is pulled over by a cop.

Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you
a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.

Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.
<...

A traffic cop in India

Somewhere in the south of India a traffic cop was wasting away his day. His stretch of the road has been empty for hours, so he hasn't pulled anyone over, wrote no tickets, and hasn't taken any bribes. Hungry and angry he decided to pack up for the day, when he saw an old man riding a donkey in the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A german woman comes back home from work early...

When she opens the door she sees her husband, Hans, kneeling on the floor in a latex S&M outfit with a gag in his mouth. A naked prostitute with a whip in her hands is standing above him urinating onto his face. Worst of all, the husband has their pet parrot shoved up his ass and is fucking thei...

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