UPJOKE
awakealarmwarningvigilantwarnalivepreparednessreadinessawaresirenwakeemergencynoticewatchlively

Alerts Jokes

I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts...

They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Coronavirus alerts across the world

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, level may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when t...

I HATE Amber alerts.

I already know what my car looks like.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm organizing a convention for a charity that develops and donates devices which provide audible alerts for deaf/mute individuals at their moment of .

We'll let you know who's coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes it is.”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball.”
Man: ‟That's nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?”
Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happ...

Imagine how annoying it would be if we got alerts for every upvote we received

for everyone except me

What's the hardest part about having a child?

The Amber alerts.
1 joke is hidden here because they may not be suitable for all ages.
show them anyway

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.