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A navy captain is alerted that a pirate ship is coming towards his position

He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt.

The sailor asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?”

The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and aren’t discouraged.” They fight off the pirates eventually.

The very next day, the Captain is alerted that 50 pirate ...

My ex-girlfriend got paid under the table for her work filming "creampie" adult videos. So I alerted the IRS.

They nailed her for unreported in-come.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Soviet telegraph station.

An old Jew comes in and sends the message "Doctor says cut cut".

An hour passes, he gets back the message "Doctor says cut cut".

The people there assumed it must be some kind of code, so they alerted the proper authorities. The Jew is brought to the KGB, they asks him what it means....

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