I hate it when people say I’m passive aggressive.

I’m not passive aggressive, unlike *some* people.

WHAT DO WE WANT? PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

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Well, we're sure you're really busy with all of your important things.

So, we'll just have to wait, until you feel that we've waited long enough, and maybe then, you'll be able to find some time for others...

How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know. Why don't *you* change it yourself instead of waiting for other people to do it?

My wife and I are playing the passive aggressive thermostat game...

She is currently winning 73 to 68

I'm sick of all these passive-aggressive posts.

You know who you are.

Can you people please stop being so condescending and passive-aggressive?

Thanks!

There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman

I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends.

What did the passive aggressive raven say to Edgar Allen Poe?

"...ugh nevermind"

1 in 3 homicides start with a passive aggressive note.

But of course you are too busy to read it.

I'm a passive aggressive driver.

I pass other drivers and then aggressively speed towards the next one.

How many passive-aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark...

What did one passive aggressive republican say to the passive aggressive democrat?

I don't know, let me go check my Facebook feed.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Famous people answer the ubiquitous question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

**TEACHER**: To get to the other side.


**PLATO**: For the greater good.


**ARISTOTLE**: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.


**SOCRATES**: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?


**HIPPOCRATES**: Because of an excess of phlegm in i...

Knock knock

“Who’s there?”

“Passive-aggressive girlfriend.”

“Passive-aggressive girlfriend who?”

“IF YOU DONT KNOW IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!!!”

Some good tips for your English class.

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. It...

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes.

However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "By all means, just watch out for those ...

I got pulled over by the Grammar Police.

The cop was pretty passive about the sentence he handed me.

For anyone who gets confused about proper grammar and style in writing

I offer from the Internet, the following tip sheet, "How to Write Good":

- It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
- Contractions aren't necessary
- The passive voice is to be avoided.
- Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.
- Be more or less specific.
- ...

I went to see this acupuncturist, called "The dude".

He told me me Yin and Yang channels were out of balance. He said some of my meridians were open too much, and some were blocked.

I told him: "I've been feeling cold, slow, and passive recently. I think my Yang meridians are closed."

He said, "Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, you...

If a dog is man's best friend, then a cat must be...

Man's snotty, passive-aggressive ex-girlfriend.

The love story of 6 and 9

Sit children, and let me tell you the tale of a guy who was caught in a predicament.

One day a guy was mowing his lawn. He was about a 6, so let's call him that. 6 was mowing his lawn until a dog came running down the street. 6 chased the dog until he caught him. He turned around and saw that...

Chinese and Russian soldier

By the river, and on the Russian and Chinese border there was two soldiers standing as posts for some decade years. A Chinese on south side and the Russian on North side. One day the Russian started to make signals to the Chinese. The Chinese was puzzled. The Russian wanted to ask him if he was a pa...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wifi

A man hears his neighbors having sex very night, so In a fit of passive aggressiveness, he changes the name of his wifi network to "Icanhearyouhavingsex".

The next day when he goes to sign on to his wifi, he sees another network labeled "Wecanhearyounothavingsex"

What is the difference between an Eskimo and a eunuch?

One is a frigid midget with a rigid digit, the other is a massive vassal with a passive tassel

(found this in Horace's Satires)