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9 To 5 Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the man who always masturbates at the end of his 9 to 5 shift say to the friend throwing a party at 5:30?

"I'll be there after I get off."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"So you've written here that you're available 9 to 5"

"Sorry, that dash was a minus sign. I'm available 9 minus 5. I can start at 4."

"So why didn't you just put 4?"

"Couldn't spell it."

"Get the fuck out of my office."

Why did Dolly Parton refuse to have tea with Kate Middleton?

Because high tea is always 4pm and she works 9 to 5.



Lame. But this was in the news the other week. Dolly actually did refuse to have tea with Kate.....there's a joke here, somewhere. Do you have it?

Why did Dolly Parton help fund the COVID-19 vaccine?

So that we'd all get back to working 9 to 5.

Dolly Parton has invested $1m in the Moderna covid vaccine

It's working 9 to 5 perecent of the time, what a way to keep us living

Girls be sweating their makeup off at work

Call that a 9 to 5

An atheist dies and goes to hell...

... The devil greets him there
"Hey! Uhm... Welcome.
Listen, you were born, raised and died an atheist.
So I don't know which specific hell I should put you in.
Tell you what, I'll show you some of the popular hells and let you pick one."

They enter a big gate and head to the nea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about Dolly Parton's husband becoming a professional sperm doner?

* He's jerkin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a living.



(I made this up and i'm kinda proud' feel free to spread it around the globe try it on your friend / spouse now and tell me if it got a smile / laugh - or a slow head shake and a sigh)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The box

A man decides to give up his 9 to 5 job and live a spiritual life at a monastery as a monk. Upon joining the monastery, the lead monk gives him a tour of the temple and the grounds. After a while, the man asks a question.

"Father, I know this is the life I want to live, but I am not sure ho...

Let me tell you story of a chicken.

Once there was a chicken. He was just like every other chicken, minding himself, keeping his beak clean, working the 9 to 5, the usual. Life was going good for him, until he made a life threatening choice. He had severely angered Hank “Road to Hell” Eagle, AKA “The Road” for short, a notorious mob b...

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