Peasants Jokes

And a man in the crowd sneezed. Stalin asked: who sneezed?

No one responded. Stalin says to one of his KGB cronies 'walk up to the crowd, and shoot everyone in the front row.' So the guy shoots everyone in the front row.

'Now', Stalin says, 'who sneezed?' Again, no one responded. 'Sh... read more

essential toils

The King: You're absolutely right. They stink on ice !

They do not bathe even before executing their king.

They were revolting.

They received payczechs

...Looking for the dreaded vampire that threatened their homes. As they searched among the tombstones, they found one covered in blood, black as night and decorated with a bat motif. As night fell, they begun excavating it, getting to the coffin just as the last rays of the sun began to disappear. T... read more

They serf

Because they're all a bunch of vassals.

The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"

He had a straight flush.

visits a modern art exhibition. "What the hell is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."

"Ah-h… And what i... read more

Putin asks the solider "What did he do?"

The soldier answered that the man went into Moscow square and shouted that he didn't like the stupid halfwit leader who caused war to break out, let his army get defeated with expensive military equipment being captured by a bunch of peasants, destroye... read more

Out of breath and in a panic they alert the king
> Sire, the peasants, they're revolting!


The king nods and responds:
>Mmm yes, they are quite disgusting aren't they

Peasants

Two peasants are having a chat and one says "Why did the king go to the dentist's?"
The other peasant, confused, says "no I don't, please tell me"
The first peasant then hits him with "to get his teeth crowned!"

The peasants thought they were getting just too far a head.

The priests realized they would need a new person to ring the bells. They decided to hold auditions. After advertising the position in the town center there was a long line of peasants waiting to try out the next day.

One by one the priests called the peasants forward to pull the rope, ring t... read more

....so I could fit her socks into the drawer




*You little dirty-minded peasants!

Two peasants, Boris and Igor are poor. Boris has a goat. Igor does not. One day while walking thru the woods, Igor meets a fairy. "What do you wish for?" She ask.

"I wish" Igor says "that Boris's goat should die"

A service for neighbors. I harm none of the citizens except my slayer alone. My stem is erect, I stand up in bed hairy somewhere down below. A very comely peasants daughter, dares sometimes, proud maiden, that she grips at me, attacks me in my redness, plunders my head, confines me in a stronghold, ... read more

The servant out of breath proclaims "Sir the peasants are revolting"

The king worried leaps to the window only to see a few peasants walking calmly down the road. Confused he turns back to the servant and inquires on what he meant.

The servant with a hand to his stomach replies "have y... read more

30 because that's peasants work.

After some drinks, they are talking about their own greatness.

The Lion tells stories about his harem, how he rules above a vast territory and how he never knew hunger.

The duck describes how beautiful the world looks like from above, and never having to endure harsh winters becaus... read more

On the way to the lord's castle, the knight, one Sir Richard of River's Bank is surprised to see that the fields are empty, and the serfs are nowhere in sight. When he arrives, he asks his lord if the summons has anything to do with the absence of the workers in the field, and his lord replies that... read more

because she once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants

More often than not, they were called "peasants"

This triangular lake was quite large; so large, in fact, that three separate kingdoms were built on each side of this lake. These kingdoms were very different one from another.
The first kingdom was the richest - smooth stone walls built like a fortress, lavish houses for all, and a generous king... read more

Once upon a time there was a brutal and ruthless king that had restricted lives of his citizens to a point where his throne was at the risk of being overthrown. There were daily riots and people were fed up with their lives as a result of being oppressed so much and having virtually no rights.
... read more

... and the Tibetan leader, Lama Sakya Pandita, marshaled all able-bodied men in Lhasa to repel the invasion. Commoners, nobility and peasants answered the summons, but Sakya's own monks hesitated. After all, they had all taken vows of nonviolence, and had not harmed so much as a fly since their i... read more

He was a very brave knight. One of the very best. He slew monsters and fought off invaders.

This knight had an excellent page. He would do anything for the knight. He was an expert at taking care of his horse, armor, and other equipment. The knight and the page were very good friends, trustin... read more