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2nd Grade Jokes

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A teacher asks her 2nd grade class...

"Who's a Trump fan?"

Not wanting to look stupid for not knowing what that meant, they all raised their hands except for Johnny.

"And why aren't you a Trump fan?" she asked, used to Johnny always trying to be different.

"Because I'm a Sanders fan" he replied.

"And why a...

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...

The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. ...

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A blond is starting in 2nd grade

On the first day she comes home to her mother and eagerly yells: "Mom! Mom! Today we had English and I knew more words and could spell better than any other kid! Is it because I am a blonde?"
"No, honey", said the mother, "It is simply because you are smarter and more knowledgeable than the ot...

there was a 2nd grade student who was crying

His teacher approached him and asked

Teacher: why are crying kid?

Student: Waaaaah I lost my 5 dollars!

His teacher felt sorry for him and gave him a 5$ from his wallet then the Student happily walked away.

On his way the Student friends saw with the money and asked where...

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A 2nd Grade Teacher's Class

A 2nd grade teacher is having a class one day and she says to the kids in the room "Class, today we are going to find out what your dad's do for a living. I want you to say what he does, spell it and if he were here today what he would do for us."

Mary, jumps up and raises her hand quickly, s...

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A 2nd Grade Teacher was Fired Today /DryHumor

A superintendent, school principal, vice principal, and New Jersey Department of Education are touring the elementary school for their annual walkthrough.

The hallways buzz about as they pass classroom after classroom, a living collage of Language Arts lessons, Social Studies, sing songs edut...

When I was in 2nd grade, my dog Brick was hit by a car and killed, and my mom tried to console me. She said, "He's probably already in Heaven with God."

I said, "Why would God want a dead dog?"

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A 2nd grade teacher tells the class to say a sentence using the words "Liver" and "Cheese" in the same sentence....

...So the teacher picks a white kid to go first, he says: "My mom made me a Liver and Cheese sandwich, it was really good!".

Then the teacher picks a black kid to go second, he says: "My mom bought the wrong kind of Cheese, so my dad punched her in the Liver!".

Finally, the teacher pic...

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it?

Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear

Fuzzy Wuzz had no hair.

If Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear without hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t very fuzzy was he?

(This still cracks me up 20+ years outside the 2nd grade classroom where me and my boys gut-laughed to tears over this)

I told my boss that when I get nervous, I like to imagine my audience naked...

... she said I should probably stop teaching the 2nd grade.

Why did the robber go to the circus?

“To steal the show.” This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)

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[Long] Blonde girl comes home from school

A blonde girl comes home from school today and tells her mother that she was the only one in class to be able to recite the alphabet as far as the letter 'Q'. Her mother smiles and says, ' Well, that's because you're blonde'. The girl continues and tells her that in Math class, she was the only one ...

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There is this child in 1st grade and he's doing poorly in school.

His dad is concerned and asked what he can do to help. The child tells his father "Dad, if you get me 2 pink ping pong balls, I'll get my grades up." The child gets 2 pink ping pong balls and gets his grades up and moves onto second grade.

In 2nd grade, he's not doing well again. He tells his...

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Contagious

Once upon a time a teacher in a little school in South Virginia gave her 2nd grade students a small homework assignment. It was to listen for the word contagious and share the story with the class the next day.

The next day the teacher asked "so did anyone hear the word contagious?" A few han...

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Little Johnny was about to go home from school

but before his class was dismissed, his 2nd grade teacher said,"I'm going to teach you guys about the government next class, so for homework I want you to ask your parents about the government." When Johnny got home, he went up to his father and asked him," Daddy, what's the government?" His father ...

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