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2004 Jokes

I lost over 300 pounds in 2004 - 2006

It was a long divorce, but I do feel so much lighter now!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said she wanted to have sex in the backseat of the car

and she wanted me to drive

-The late Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004)

From 2004-2015, Chelsea FC had the best goalkeeper in the world

On second thought, Petr Cech that one

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade...

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me
Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces except for Chandrasekhar, who
had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775,' he said.

'Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by
t...

This year's presidential election shares the same tagline as the 2004 movie "Alien versus Predator".

"Whoever wins... We lose."

What does Charlie Brown on Halloween and a U.S. Marine finding out where hes getting deployed in 2004 have in common?

They can both be heard dejectedly saying "I got a rock."

My relationship with my neighbors is like on that show Friends

I haven't seen any of them since 2004.

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

What’s a pirates favorite video game?

**DDRRR**

No it’s not 2004 and I’ll see myself out.

Robert Kraft - 7 rings.

Robert Kraft:

- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Looking back", I told the court,...

"I probably should've phrased my statement as 'My 2004 Ford has been written off' as opposed to 'I've just fucked a 14 year old Esocort'"

The couple that went to Florida.

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis a...

Several men are in the locker room.........

.......... of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in he room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found...

A priest, a Teacher, and an Engineer.

3 of them are best friends and one weekend they decided to go to town to have a drink and inadvertently got drunk to a point of blacking out. Upon waking up they found themselves arrested, guiltily charged of a crime and sentenced to death by electrocution. The priest is strapped to the chair
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] There's two fellas way out in the woods in Virginia...

The name of one is Cecil. It's not important what the other one's name is.

They're bored, just trying to kill time while they whittle.

The more talkative fella, he says to Cecil, "Have you ever heard of the game 20 questions?" And Cecil says, "Nope."

"Well, the way you play i...

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