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1985 Jokes

Has anyone seen the 1985 film Orion's Belt?

It wasn't that great, I give it 3 stars.

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A man is at a bar in London around 1985, having a drink with a girl.

He really wants to impress her. He looks over to another table and sees none other than Freddie Mercury!

“Oh my god!” Says his date, “I love him! Let’s get an autograph!”

“Nah”, the man replied, “he’s a bit of a knob”

“You know him?” his date asked incredulously

“Oh, yea...

A joke as told by my grandpa, circa 1985. He was about 75 at the time and his dad taught this to him: Two brick layers were building a wall when they came up a brick short

Get it? A brick short!

Ok ok, most people don't get that joke. Here's a bonus joke:

A man and woman are sitting on a trolley car, she has an annoying yappy dog and he's smoking a cigar.

"Can you put out that nasty cigar?!"

"Can you make that rat shut up?"

The old ...

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In 1985 Viagra began marketing it's own soda beverage

They called it Mount and Do.

Further more in 1986 the FDA decided it could no longer be called a *soft* drink.
Instead they labeled it a cock tail.

Brett Kavanaugh was questioned by police for throwing ice at a guy during a bar fight in 1985

Just ice served

Whats the difference between a Chicago Bears fan and Marty McFly?

Eventually Marty McFly stopped going back to 1985.

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:

"Doctor, I have an ear ache."


2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffec...

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An Irish bar

A drunk Irishman sitting at a bar starts talking to the gentleman next to him.

'Where you from?' He asks the stranger.

'Born and raised in Dublin, Ireland." The stranger says raising his glass.

'Get the fuck out of here, I was born and raised in Dublin also!" The man cries in s...

In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...

Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee

A woman gets a nasty cut...

... it's very deep and there's blood everywhere so she calls the emergency services. "Hello I've cut myself can i please speak to a doctor?" "Hi I'm a doctor, may I ask what your name is?"
"Maggie Smith"
"And when where you born?" Asked the doctor.
"17th of Apr...

Now that it is 2015 we should all really be on the lookout for Marty Mcfly.

If it is only to forewarn him to invest heavily in Parkinsons research on his return to 1985.

Help! Please explain this silly kids joke to me...

This joke has been bugging me on and off for around 30-years. I read it in some kind of '1000 jokes for kids' type book - probably written around 1985'ish. The joke is pretty stupid - and i'm reasonably sure it would still be pretty stupid if I actually understood it - however for some unexplained...

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"Angry Notes" Courtesy of Saurabh on Fropki.com

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get it up. Enjoy dreaming about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

D...

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