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Writers Jokes

What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?

671 Hallmark movies.

How many GoT plot writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only two, but they'll wait 6 or 7 seasons before screwing it up.

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

EDIT: Thank you for the silver!

EDIT AGAIN: Thank you for the gold and platinum! I am honored!

How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to start an electric chair?

13, but #9 will shock you!

Three writers, Al, Ben, and Carl, who were attending a writing convention, booked a 3 bedroom suite on the 75th floor of a hotel.

When they arrived back at the hotel from the convention, the receptionist told them, "I'm terribly sorry, but all the elevators are broken. In the meantime, you will have to take the stairs."

Now, Al was a writer of funny stories, Ben was a writer of scary stories, and Carl was a writer of sa...

How many resumé writers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one:


Single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns, and zero safety incidents, increasing workplace safety and productivity.

First the writers went on strike, now the actors …

who’s going to clear all the tables in Hollywood restaurants?

Why are Mexicans such prolific writers?

Because they finish every sentence with an essay.

Writer's Strike is on.

George R.R. Martin and Patrick Rothfuss have joined it in solidarity with their fellow TV writers.

Writers these days have become so lazy

They’re remaking the first Writer’s Strike

What state has the most writers?

Pencil-vania

What blood type do writers have?

Type O

2 buzzfeed writers walked into a bar

What happened next will blow your minds!

What do you call a hierarchy of writers?

An AUTHORity

What has 12 writers, 20 actors, and 3 plots?

The Hallmark Channel

What type of pasta do crooked musical writers like?

Rigatoni

what do erotica writers and twitter trolls have in common?

They both write stuff just to get a rise out of people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are creative character writers so good in bed?

……because they really know how to pen a trait!

Why can't women be writers?

They're afraid of periods.

Farmers would make great writers.

They really know how to work a plot.

Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

Netflix writers have so many different shows to deal with...

They have trouble keeping all their characters straight.

Why don't escaped convicts make good writers?

Because they never finish their sentences

Why do writers hate the bible?

It has terrible characters, Noah is the only one with an arc.

How many writers for "The Simpsons" does is take to change a lightbulb?

None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

I got kicked out of our Writers Block support group today

It made me really

When I was a kid I wanted to be a fantasy writer

So when I became an adult I joined the UN's security council.

Why do women date witty writers? NSFW

Because they enjoy cunning linguists.

A bartender walks into a joke writers convention.

No joke.

How many Buzzfeed writers would use a taser on you?

We asked 20 of them, and number seven may shock you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two smut writers get together...

That night there was a lot of fanfriction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers

Girls Gone Wilde.

Why do Vampires hate Writers?

Because they hate Type O's

What's the motto of the American Writers Guild?

YOU ESSAY! YOU ESSAY!

How many Forbes writers does it take to make a good, solid tech article?

You’re in for a nasty surprise -
No one knows yet. But we’re keeping count.

What do bad writers use to pick up hot pans?

Plot Holders.

Early in the development of the Clone Wars show the writers wanted Obi Wan to forgive Darth Mail for killing his master and befriend him.

They decided to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

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