A lawyer was opening the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and struck the door, ripping it completely off the hinges.
When police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my car!" he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, it's incredible!" retorted the officer, "You're so concerned about your stupid...
I was on a road trip with my wife, who insisted on staring at large map, and barking out directions...
...So I took it off her, and scrunched it up into a little ball.
She was not impressed to say the least, and whined "how are we going to find our way now" as she un-crumpled the paper, "we're lost now".
I said "well you're not going to get anywhere with that latitude".
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A young stock broker had just parked his BMW
As he opened the door, a car zoomed past ripping the door from his car. A police officer happened to be walking past, and quickly ran over to the driver. “Are you alright?”, he asked. The stock broker whined, “My Beemer! Look what he did to my Beemer!” Disgusted the officer growled, “You greedy Wall...
"Get in the back of the boat!" Tom said sternly.
"I can't, I dropped the toothpaste," Gwen said, crestfallen.
"Then use that fancy glassware to make some more!" Tom retorted.
"All the glassware is full of Beaujolais," Gwen whined.
"And I suppose the rum's all gone," said Tom, dispirited.
\---
(Open to the floor.....
Holiday trip to Alcatraz
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.
Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them...
Weights
Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become the next Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department of the sporting goods store.
"Please, Dad," whined the boy, "I promise I'll use them every day."
"I don't know, M...
A local business owner was looking for office help.
The owner put a sign in the window that read: “Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer.”
A short time later, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign, and went inside. After going inside, the dog looke...
A vulture and his son
A long time ago, in a very flat place, there lived a teenage vulture named Red. He and his father were the only vultures around, and dined on the various animals that were hit by trucks on the highway. As most teenagers do, Red eventually got tired of his diet of dead things.
"Dad" he whined....
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