UPJOKE
westsoutheasteasternnortheastnorthsouthwestnortheasterneast coastwesternnorthwesternnorthwestsoutherlysoutherneasterly

West Coast Jokes

A scientist recently said that the “perfect earthquake” was going to strike the West Coast soon.

The evidence to support his claim was shaky at best.

I was out on the west coast, trying to sell some guns to a street gang.

The gang member handed me a bag of severed toes with tiny $'s and tiny blue bandanas tied to them. I said "What's this?! No cash?!" He said it was the latest trend "Crip Toe Currency".

After a few months I wanted to buy a stolen sports car, but had no cash. My friend worked at a morgue so he ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An auld fella from the west coast of Scotland is staying at a bed and breakfast in Cornwall.

On the first morning of his stay, the proprietor serves him a full English breakfast (sausages, bacon, black pudding, beans, mushrooms, tomatoes, fried slice and two pieces of bread and butter).

Later, as he’s about to go out, the proprietor asks him was the breakfast all to his liking.
...

If you live on the west coast of the USA right near the factory that makes diet pizza pockets, and you eat one

Then that is a local lo-cal Cal-zone calzone.

Sometimes I feel like people on the West coast are living in the past

Ba-dum tss

China, Russia, and Brazil have a contest to see who can obliterate the American west coast...

Russia tries firing off some Nukes, but as luck would have it, the CIA's "Star Wars" satellite missile defense system stopped all the ICBMs before they even got past Hawaii.

China's turn... They send out their Naval Fleet but half of the aircraft carriers catch on fire before they...

Superman challenges The Flash to a race

"You will never beat me" said the flash, "but I guess I can let you try" they agree to run from the east coast of the U.S to the west.

The race begins and Superman runs as fast as he can, he puts absolutely everything he's got into it but when he gets to the west coast he see's the flash sit...

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"

...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BECOMING AMERICAN

Two Saudi brothers come to America and one buys a house on the west coast and the other on the east coast. They are so excited about being Americans and during their goodbyes they make a $10,000 bet: in two months they will meet again and the one that is the most American wins.

Two months pas...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The elder statesman was giving his farewell speech.

"And when I die, bury my head in Central Pennsylvania, for that was where I had my brightest ideas. Bury my hands in Washington, D.C., for that was where I accomplished the most work. Bury my feet on the West Coast, for that was where I ran the hardest."
Just then, a journalist interrupted, "Sir,...

Wish Granted by Genie

A middle aged man was walking along the beach one day, when he stumbles and discovers a small brass lamp. Rubbing it, a genie appears and offers to grant him just one wish.

After careful thought, the man says, "All of my life, I have wanted to visit Hawaii. But I am deathly afraid of flying a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Boyfriends Revenge

Two high school sweethearts who dated for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Silver Tongued Salesman

A young hotshot from New York moves to California for some fun in the sun.

He goes to the local mega store looking for a sales job.

The manager, a little doubtful, asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The cocky kid responds, "Yup. I did sales back in New York."

The b...

In 1952 the New York Philharmonic was on a national tour...

...and on their way home from the west coast when their flight was grounded in Kansas due to bad weather.

It had been a long tour and tensions had been running high. A first violin player was a wreck from excessive alcohol consumption, the trumpet section engaged in much infighting due to com...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the West coast of Ireland lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she died, she went to the village’s only undertaker who also happened to be the local p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Penguin visits the desert.

A penguin living on the southernmost tip of South America decides he's been freezing his ass off for far too long. He decides to rent a car and take a road trip up the West coast to warmer destinations. Eventually he winds up in San Diego, where he sees a sign for Las Vegas and decides he'd like to ...

An explorer in the African jungle heard about a plan to capture the legendary King Kong.

And sure enough when he came to a clearing there before him, imprisoned in a cage, sat the imposing figure of King Kong.


It occurred to the explorer that he could be the first person ever to touch the great ape and so tentatively he inched towards the cage. Since King Kong appeared quite ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.