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Southerner Jokes

What language does a Southerner use to communicate with a Mexican?

Espan-*ya'll*.

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A Southern lady sits down next to a Yankee businesswoman on a plane. Trying to be friendly, the Southerner asks, "So, where ya'all from?"

The Yankee sniffs in disdain and replies, "Where I'm from, we don't end our sentences in prepositions!"

The lady, a little shocked by the rudeness says, "Aight, where ya'all from, bitch?"

A Southerner was done having kids

after his sixth child. After a consultation, he schedules a vasectomy, but shows up wearing a three-piece suit. The nurses ask him, "Why are you so dressed up?"

"Well," he said, "if I'm gonna be im'potent, I want to look im'potent."

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A new southerner in town.

So a man who lived in the north moved to the south to become a farmer so he packed up and moved to the south to start a farm. To start out he had to find a rooster for his farm, so he went the town and went into the store that sold rooster. He went up the clerk and asked for a rooster, but the cashi...

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A black guy, a Jew, a Mexican, and a racist white Southerner are waiting at a bus stop...

...when all of a sudden a genie comes along. He says, "Well, we've got some time before the bus comes so why don't I grant you all one wish."

So the Jew pipes up and says, "My one true wish is that all of my people be able to live in peace together in Israel." The genie snaps his fingers, a...

What do you call it when a southerner commits treason?

Betra-y'all

What do southerners do in their free time

their sister

How does a southerner take money out of his bank account?

With drawl, of course

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Southerners are weirdly obsessed with ending hunger among Jews

Any time I visit my relatives down South, the first thing they ask is *Jew eat yet?*

A guy comes up to an Italian

and says, "you are a southerner. You are in the mafia"

So the Italian told him, "No, look. Not all southerners are gangsters."

But the guy kept insisting, he said, "No, no. You are a southerner. You are in the mafia"

The Italian tried to reason with him by telling him that they ...

Why do southerners hate orgies?

Too many thank you notes.

Police: We're looking for pirates

Me (a Southerner): Y'ar?

How many Southerners does it take to change a light bulb?

300. One to actually change it and the rest of them to talk about how “good” the old one was.

A northern man goes on a date with a southern woman during his vacation to the south.

Southerner: What do you and your friends do in your free time?

Northerner: We love to play the well known game called Club Penguin. Our favorite activity is to spend hours together on the iceberg.

Southerner: I play Club Penguin too!



As the two people from different regi...

How do southerners speak of addiction recovery?

With drawl

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What do Southerners have in common with peanut butter?

They are both usually in bread.

Southerners can do pretty good civil war voice impressions....

General Lee speaking.

3 Drunken southern men are asking for one more round of drinks

The bartender says “no way, look at how drunk you’ve become!”

The 3 drunk southerners keep insisting.

The bartender says “Alright, whoever can name the southern most state in America gets another drink.

The 1st drunk Shouts “TEXAS! it’s where most people in the world think of wh...

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