Appalachian Jokes - 9 Hilarious Appalachian Jokes

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The police knocked on the door of a small Appalachian farmhouse.

"Good evening sir. We have received a report that you have been distilling illegal moonshine!"

"Me?! Moonshining?! That is a lie! Never have I been so insulted in my entire life! I've never done anything like that! These are evil rumours that somebody has spread! - And I'll tell you ...

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Appalachian couple get married

Jethro and Ellie Mae get married, and after the wedding party they happily drive off in his 68 Ford truck for their honeymoon. But about an hour later, Jethro storms back into his parents house, angrily slamming the door.
The father asks what's going on, and Jethro says, "The weddins off!" Th...

What do you call an Appalachian Person that helps women give birth?

A Mountain Doula

Two physicists go hiking

A theoretical physicist and an applied physicist go hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Suddenly they spot a black bear running towards them. The applied physicist starts taking off his boots.

The theoretical physicist says, "It's not possible to outrun a bear."

The applied physicist say...

The Democrats

A Democrat politician visited a remote little town in the Appalachians and asked the inhabitants what the Democrat party could do for them.

“We have two big needs,” said the Mayor.. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”

The Democrat whipped out his cellphone, spoke ...

Rarely, hikers of the Appalachian trail report seeing psychic grizzlies take control of their friends, who start foraging and looking for honey...

Bear in mind, that doesn't happen very often.

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What was the name of the process that supporters of Johnny Appleseed went through to rename West Virginia after him?

The Appalachian Apple Nation Appellation.

A new mountain range

Have you heard of the mountain range predicted to be just outside the Appalachians? It's called the Extrapolations.

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A man that was recently fired from his job and divorced decided to move to the mountains.....

He decided to live a secluded and solitary life in the most remote regions of the Appalachian Mountainous he could find. His first year was tougher than he expected especially during the winter months, but he faired well all things considered.

On a warm day during the following spring, he was...

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