Weight Gain Jokes - 9 Hilarious Weight Gain Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Side effects may include weight gain, depression and loss of sex drive.

Ask your doctor if marriage is right for you.

I blame my wife's cooking for my weight gain.

Ever since she started cooking I've been eating out more.

The wife's weight gain, through overeating and laziness, had become the final straw in an already strained relationship and I decided I would just have to kill her.

I hid in the kitchen, knowing it wouldn't be long before she turned up looking to raid the fridge. And sure enough, she soon came waddling in.

I leapt out from behind a cupboard, arm raised, brandishing a huge knife..

"OH MY GOD!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Are we havi...

A woman goes to the doctor after a sudden weight gain...

The doctor looks over her test results, then looks at the woman and says "well, it looks like you're pregnant."

"Wow, I'm pregnant?" The woman asked.

"No, it just looks like you are" The doctor replied.

The cactus outside my home won't stop judging my sudden weight gain

He's honestly such a prick about it.

Due to recent changes, 50 cent has changed his citizenship to the UK.

After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".

Yo momma's so fat

...that the city of Dublin was named after her daily weight gain.

Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer

It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped in plastic. When I took it apart, I found that the printer cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it harder to steal and to make the customer feel better about the high price.

I pointed ...

Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences

and why not to talk to your wife or girlfriend about weight gain.

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