UPJOKE
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Last night I dreamt that I was weightless

I was like “0mg”

Why do astronauts on the ISS never spend much time in queues?

Because they weightless.

The other day, after much trial and error, I successfully became completely weightless...

I was like, 0mg!

If you are on a free-fall and feeling weightless ...

You probably don’t understand the gravity of the situation you’re in ...

A guy and his two friends are driving

The first guy is in the back, rolling his eyes. They had been partying.
One friend was bragging about the women he had been with.
Another was driving, and was bragging about his keg standing talent.
Our guy has tried to do good all his life, and has successfully avoided both pleasures.
<...

A compass, a cough drop, and a match.

As a Boy Scout, we would camp a lot and go on hikes.


One night, we had to do a night hike, alone, for a merit badge. I had left the campsite about an hour earlier and a terrible storm rolled in. The sky opened up and the ground was quickly saturated. I tried to continue my hike for anothe...

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