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Wagered Jokes

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The a...

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The new priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.

After mass he asked the Bishop how he had done.

The Bishop replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
...

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Bet

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. “Father!” she cried, “just WAIT until you hear this!”

The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, “Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited...

Four farmers were playing poker

After a while, one of them suggested they upped the ante a bit, and wagered that the losers should help out the winner in working his land, "just like in the feudal times, yeah?".

The other three agreed that that was an exciting prize to play for. They all had vast farms, and had had to leave...

Jeff was a prolific name dropper and his mate Jack had had enough.

“Surely you don’t know every person you mention,” he said.

“Sure do,” replied Jeff. “I know them all.”

Wanting proof, Jack wagered Jeff that he could find someone he didn’t know, a bet that Jeff accepted. They jumped on a plane and flew to Marvel Studios.

“OK,” said Jack, ...

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An old man is met by his attorney...

...and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent.

"I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task.

The old man laughs, pulls out ...

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A man and his new hunting dog

A man is sitting at the bar of his local gun club with a few of his buddies after finishing their trap shoot. As they enjoy a cold beer, a man and his dog enter the bar. After a few minutes of pleasantries, the man with the dog says "Yea, this dog is incredible. I don't have to sit around and wait f...

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