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Bettor Jokes

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A man goes to a bank every wednesday to deposit hundreds of thousands

He comes in with a big bag of money, every wednesday and deposits large amounts of money. The manager gets suspicious after a while and when the next wednesday comes, approaches the man:

-Good morning and welcome sir, you must be one the richest customers of our bank. We are thankful for choo...

A local casino is offering marijuana infused beef to their best bettors.

That’s really high steaks for their high rollers.

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An old woman walks into a bank

She asks for a meeting with the bank manager to set up an account. She explains that she wants to deposit five million dollars.

The bank manager says "If you don't mind my asking, where do you get all of your money?"

The old woman says "I'm a professional bettor."

"So like sport...

A guy walks into a bar with his dog.

He take a seat and says, "I can bet $100 to each of you that my dog can talk!"

Everybody agrees to the bet. The guy says, "Spot, speak!" The dog is silent.

"Spot, speak," the guy repeats. The noble dog still doesn't react. Fuming, the guy begrudgingly pays each of the bettors the agree...

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Gambling jokes

**Husband**: How do you lose $150 in the slot machines!

**Wife**: You lost $15000 at the tables!

**Husband**: Yeah but I know how to gamble.

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**Bettor**: My god, I had a terrible day today. I lost 15 ou...

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Betting Jokes

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. As a sports bettor I completely misunderstood the crap table.

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A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Suzan, pack up your things. I just won a ฿1000 20 leg parlay!” Suzan replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man ...

Perfectly spell-checked poem

- I have a spelling checker.
- It came with my PC,
- It plainly marks four my revue,
- Mistakes I cannot sea.
- I've run this poem threw it,
- I'm sure your pleased to no,
- Its letter purfect in it's weigh,
- My checker tolled me sew...

A race steward noticed a horse trainer giving his horse something.

He confronts the man, "What are you giving that horse?" the steward demands. "Just some sugar cubes to give him a little energy" the trainer replies, popping one into his own mouth. "Here, try one", the trainer offers. The steward slips one of the sweet cubes past his lips. "Very well, carry on", sa...

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