Did you hear about the nudist who violated the colony rules?

They were caught with their pants up.

A blonde was watching the news when she suddenly hears “American rights are being violated”

She sighs and thinks to herself “thank god I’m a leftie!”

Trump has violated ethics laws by advertising a can of beans from the Oval Office but he's not worried.

I mean, what are you Goya do about it?

I got kicked out of band camp for trying to play a guitar with a bow.

They said I violated it.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

On the subject of American independence, did you know that the Revolution was initially viewed as a breach of contract?

They heard that the Americans violated the teas and seas.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir,

We’re writing to you because you’ve violated copyright ...

What happened to the chord who violated school rules?

It was suspended!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, an Englishman and an Australian were hiking through some remote mountains.

The weather was oppressively hot when they saw this beautiful lake. They ran down to the lake, stripped off and swam in the wonderfully cool water.

Natives appeared on the shore and captured them and took them before the Chief.

"Lake is our most sacred site. You have violated sacred si...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WW2. An Italian bishop is visiting a cloisters shortly after the liberation of the country...

He meets with the mother superior and asks her how she and the nuns did during the nazi occupation.

"Oh it was terrible, father. First came the fascists and violated all, but sister Rosa. Then it was the Germans, and they too violated all, but sister Rosa. Then came the partisans ...

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unen...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A police officer catches Dave duck-hunting, checks to make sure he has the right license.

So Dave went hunting in the woods, one day, and ***BAM!***, shot a duck.

A bored, nearby trooper waiting in his patrol car near the highway hears the gunshot, gets out, and runs into the woods to find Dave holding the duck.

The trooper yells, pointing at Dave, "You stop right there! L...

A glutton, an adulterer, and a stoner are approaching the gates to heaven...

As the sinners stand at the gates, St. Peter addresses them each in turn.

To the glutton he says, "The excess food that you ate could have fed thousands of the poor and starving. You must endure 1,000 years of your sin, only then may you enter the kingdom of God." And so, the glutton found h...

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A farmer buys a rooster for his hens but with a warning from the seller...

A farmer needs to buy a rooster for his hens but the seller warns him that the rooster is unusually amorous and will attempt to copulate with any living creature.

Since the farmer is in dire need after a few foxes have made off with his previous roosters, he takes the risk as part of the bar...

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Three Americans visit saudi Arabia

They're having a good time and decide to travel through the desert, on the third day they come across a tent in the middle of nowhere with a DO NOT ENTER sign in many languages, of course they ignore it.
In the tent are over 100 naked beautiful women, they have a good time, is much sexiness. ...

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Three missionaries are captured in the Amazon

Three explorers are captured by a remote tribe in the Amazon jungle. The chief is going to punish the intruders. He calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the explorer doesn't want to die, so he opts for booka. The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! and danc...

Alaskan Bear Hunting Trip

A man saves up his money all Summer to go on an Alaskan bear hunting trip. He gets out into the wilderness and tracks through the underbrush for hours when he finally spots a little black bear. He gets that bear in his sights and BANG shoots him dead!

At just that moment he feels a tap on his...

Donald Trump like his women like he likes his Geneva Conventions

Mostly ignored, but regularly violated.

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A nun is walking down the street...

A nun is walking down the street. As she passes a dark alley a man grabs her, pulls her into the alley, rips off her clothes, and ravages her in the most obscene manner possible.

As the man is zipping up the nun wails, "Oh No! How am I going to tell Mother Superior I have been sexually violat...

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If I watch a meteor shower

Does it feel violated?

(x-post shittyaskscience)

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