Vaccines Jokes

But all of the research sites are down.

Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

Because, you can't take the Lords name in vein.

Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:

"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"

"No, autism is a co... read more

Cause they're more likely to be dead.

She was insulted, punched and spit on

Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!

"Nobody," says God. "There is no conspiracy, and vaccines do no cause autism."

"THEY GOT TO YOU TOO?! HOW FAR UP DOES THIS GO?!"

adults

Patient: "They took our jabs!"

Vaccinated kids live long enough to be diagnosed with autism.

" there is one thing I've always wanted to know"

"Ok, ask away," God said.

" Do vaccines cause autism?" she asked

" The truth is no, vaccines have nothing to do with autism", admitted god.

The women shakes her head and says " They got to you too, this thing really goes hi... read more

He's now known as Novax Djokovic

Did you hear about Fred? He passed away.

Really? That's so sad. What happened?

He got vaccinated yesterday and died this morning.

Oh, no. I knew that vaccines were harmful. It killed him!

Actually, he got hit by a car, a Mercedes. So he died from the Benz.

A good Christian man walked into Walmart and was offered a mask by the store greeter. The man politely declined saying God would protect him from Covid. Later the man went to his doctor for a routine check up. The doctor told him everything is fine and they also have all three different types of the... read more

I got vaccinated as a kid. As a result, I'm now starting to gray and bald. My balding got so bad I had to shave my head. I've also gained weight. Because of vaccines I have started aging instead of dying as a baby.

To concerts and air travel.

But I like to think of myself as a Modern-izer

I have heard immunity.

A new scientific study came out recently proving a correlation between vaccines and adults with autism.
The reason given to this correlation was the children without vaccines died before becoming adults

Because you have to pay child support!

Not everyone gets them, but the smart ones do.

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.

The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."

The doctor says in reply "How do you suppose that would happen?"

"I'm sure it had something to do with those vaccines he got last year." said the mom.... read more

They seem to be literally foolproof

Before he knows it, he's face to face with none other than God himself, Author of the Universe, Maker of All. God smiles beatifically and says, “Don't worry. The doctors working on you are good; you'll be back in no time. But as long as you're here, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?”
<... read more

The bad news is that they are shipping them on the 737 MAX.

Giving their child a long, healthy life

My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.

Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.

People that don't vaccinate their kids make me sick...

Just been up town and there’s a bloke near Oxford Circus with a suitcase selling COVID 19 vaccines. £2 each or three for a Pfizer.

Not everybody wants it and those who want it dont get it.

Needles actually have a point.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

I couldn't believe it, how can she be protesting something like that I thought.

I marched right up to her and said "you think that's bad? Johnson and Johnson makes organic baby oil"

She was worried about bill gates tracking us. I said don't worry, he's been watching us for years anyway through the windows.

Adults