UPJOKE
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Driving down a treacherous highway pass Kenny’s car suddenly veers off an embankment...

After coming to a halt he looks at the wreck and realizes the front tire and rim had come off causing the crash. He then sings out “You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”

For Star Trek fans. A Romulan man, a Ferengi businessman, a ravishing Human woman and a homely Bajoran are sharing a compartment on an old train as it makes its way through the mountains.

Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Ferengi is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The Bajoran thinks "I bet that dirty...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Arab has a rendezvous with a British soldier, and they plan to trek across the desert to a secret military base.

"Come on my friend," says the Arab, "We must trek across the desert. The food here is the poorest in the world, so we must make haste. Would you like one of my camels?"

"No I don't want a camel." says the Brit. He starts walking.

Confused, the Arab knows it's a long trip to where they ...

There was a group of hikers who climbed a steep mountain.

The terrain is treacherous. Every step could be their last. Until it proved itself true. One of them fell down. But fortunately, he went down into a small ledge beside the mountain.

"John! Are you okay? Hold on to the rope!"

"My arms are broken. I can't carry myself."

"Try to ti...

T'was a wet and rainy Christmas eve...

...when santa landed on our roof.

The slippery condition were quite treacherous,

as a reindeer missed its hoof.

Santa and his reindeers came sliding down.

I would've laffed if it was a clown.

One by one, they got tangled in the lights,

and came crashing down...

The majestic lion

Lions, as everyone knows, are the kings of the animal kingdom. Apex predators of the Serengiti, there are few who can stand steady in the face of their mighty roar.

Unfortunately for lions, however, they are rather limited in their mobility. When it comes to such places as ice, water, and air...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

F*cking Audi four wheel drive!

It was a snowy wednesday evening. Snow had fallen for a couple of days, and the roads were treacherous.

A man walks into a bar, and while passing through the door he loudly clears his throat and spits in the corner, followed by a mumbled "Fucking Audi four wheel drive!".

He sits down, ...

A man visits an enchanted wishing well,

deep inside a forest. This well, unlike most wishing wells, had a peculiar quality: as well as granting wishes, it could talk. That made it, in some sense, alive.

So the man knelt in front of the well, and spake his wish: "Please, enchanted well. Grant me the wish of death upon the man who be...

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I met a pirate today.

I met a pirate today at the bus stop, as I was waiting for the 151 bus to go downtown. I know he was a pirate, because he had an eyepatch, and a hook, and a peg leg, the whole deal. That, and I asked him.
"Excuse me, sir, but are you a pirate?" I asked.
"Arr, I be a pirate, aye."
"Oh, that ...

Baby camel talking to daddy camel

"Dad, why have we got these humps?"

"Well, my son, we are the ships of the desert, we fill them up with water and can walk for hundreds of miles across the desert wastes"

"Dad, Why have we got big feet?"

"Well son, we are kings of the desert, but the desert sand are soft and tre...

Barnyard Tales

A salesman gets lost in the country one night and sees he’s low on gas. He sees a light on in a farmhouse and decides to stop and ask for directions. The farmer who answers the door listens to his request for directions but instead says to the salesman, “Why don’t you just stop for the night and sta...

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