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Transmitted Jokes

Which STD is transmitted through sound?

Hearing aids

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After Covid it seems everyone forgot this sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate

Life

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Pollen is actually plant sperm

So that means allergies are Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Your welcome.

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Coronavirus can be transmitted sexually,

so yes. You’ll be fine

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What is the name of the Greek god of sexually transmitted diseases?

Herpes (badumm tss)

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Can this corona be transmitted via sex?

Please, someone let me know. It's urgent.


I work at the morgue.

How are chicken diseases transmitted?

Bockteria!

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It's too bad Coronavirus isn't solely transmitted sexually

Most of Reddit would be immune

If Freddie Mercury transmitted HIV to someone...

...Was it considered Mercury poisoning?

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What’s the number one sexually transmitted disease among wizardry students?

Hog warts.

Which STD is transmitted through sound...

The clap.

Yes this joke was just posted but I think my punchline is better.

There are suspicions the coronavirus may have been transmitted to humans from poultry.

Investigators think it may have originated inside eggs.

They are now scrambling to confirm if that's true.

Just read that the Covid 19/Coronavirus can be transmitted via farts...

Well that stinks.

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Scientists Find Zika Might Be Transmitted by Oral Sex

The study suggests a little head may result in a little head.

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Scientists recently discovered a sexually transmitted disease affecting many bird species.

No need to worry though. I hear it's tweetable.

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My doctor asked me what I use to prevent Sexually Transmitted Diseases. . .

I said: my face.

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Today a woman came into my doctor's office with a sexually transmitted mental illness.

She was fucking crazy.

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My Grandma's favorite saying

Life is the ultimate disease. Its sexually transmitted and terminal.

Scientists have confirmed a new strain of bird flu going around

It's transmitted from crows and ravens to people. They've named it Corvid-19

A Student is in Engineering Class, when the Teacher asks What is a Machine?

Student 1: A machine is anything that reduces human effort

Teacher: Will you please elaborate?

Student 1: Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine

Teacher: What is the true definition?

Student 2: Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected t...

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I just had sex with my wife and now I have STD's

Sexually Transmitted Descendants.

I gave my girlfriend an STD and I’m devastated

If I transmitted it to her, then why do I still have it?!

Twenty thousand years into the future...

The astrobiology intern suddenly perks up at his station.
Intern: "Professor, we're receiving a periodic transmission from the direction of the Fr36 planetoids. I've converted the transmission into base 10 numerals and it keeps saying 14-5-22-5-18 7-15-14-14-1 7-9-22-5 25-15-21 21-16"
Professo...

Center for Disease Control Warning

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your collea...

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A Girl In London

Two men in a bar. One says "A girl I met in London gave me a sexually transmitted disease". His mate replies "you were lucky, in Yorkshire you would have had to pay for it!"

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A hillbilly goes to see a doctor.

The doctor tells him he contracted some pretty nasty STDs. And asks him how he might have gotten them.

"I know how I gots em, it's salmonella. From sleeping in the chicken coop."

"Sir. These are all sexually transmitted diseases people have. You can't catch them from poultry, no matt...

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Fonzie Jokes: Guaranteed to solicit awkward groans in any social gathering.

Do you often find yourself thinking "what this social gathering needs is some awkward silence!" Well, you have come to the right place. these jokes are 10,000% guaranteed to get you all the groans and derrisive stares you want, guaranteed or your karma back!

Here is collection of comedy gold ...

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[NSFW] "Good Luck Mr Collins"

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon's surface, the atmosphere, the temperature and their feelings of elation at being there.

Just as the transmission was going off, one of the astronauts w...

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Ten Thoughts

Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a...

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