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Old Testament Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you tell an old testament polygon?

They are usually circumscribed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to the old testament, homosexuality is fine as long as you're high.

Because it states that a man who lays with another man should be stoned.

Did you know baseball was played in the Old Testament?

In the big inning, Adam took one, Eve took one, and the Lord threw them both out.

Wicked people in the Old Testament didn’t drink milk

We know this because the wicked were always visited with utter destruction.

Oldest. Cobbler. Ever.

My Rabbi taught me about the **cobbler** in the Old Testament who was 969 years old.



Me***shoe*****s**elah

someone tore an entire book out of my bible!

my old testament is ruthless

A new pastor in a rural area...

A new pastor in a rural area is ready for his first service, but only one farmer has shown up. The pastor asks the farmer, "If you took a load of hay to feed your cows and when you got there, there was only one cow what would you do?".

"I'd feed it" said the farmer.

So the pastor asks...

George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....

.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.

He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one...

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