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4 tips for guys for successful relationships

It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.

It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.

It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickne...

People used to say that you shouldn’t clean your ears with Q-tips

But I haven’t heard that for a while.

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I used to work as a penis inspector

The pay wasn't good but the tips were great!

I have some great stock tips..

Always keep the simmer low and slow. Save up the odds and ends from veggies. If you're using chicken, skim the fat/floaty bits off to get a clear liquid etc.


If you keep doing this, you end up a bouillonaire.

Any tips on removing ice from my windshield?

I tried an old discount card, only got 20% off.

*tips fedora at mosquito*

M'laria

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Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and politely asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and politely asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned, and...

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A man was taking a 6am stroll, when he saw someone crouching in a graveyard.

Trying to be polite, he tips his hat and says, “morning.”

The guy replies, “nah, just taking a shit.”

How much do you pay a circumcision specialist?

However much you want... they work on tips.

*tips car*

M'tor.

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Serious time, does anyone have any tips for dealing with a sex addiction?

I've literally tried fucking everything.

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Military is cutting staff (repost most likely)

The military is cutting staff and decide to get rid of three generals. One from the Army, the Airforce, and the Marines.

All of them are old, grizzled men who had seen their fair share of war, so the Pentagon comes up with a unique bonus system for their service. They can choose two points ...

I used to be a stalker

I’m not proud of it, but nowadays people are asking me for tips and tricks on stalking. So here it is:
In order to be a stalker, you need to do the following…

My 14 year old girl asked me what hairstyle would look good on her

Don’t ever google tips for grooming a teenage girl. I’m now on a list somewhere….

Don't Choke!

Two Texans were having lunch at their favorite restaurant when they noticed a young woman at the next table having trouble breathing.

One of the Texans got up, walked over to her table, took her face in his big Texan hands and said, "Kin ya swaller?"

She shook her head 'no.' "Kin y...

I used to make a living by circumcising elephants

The pays were lousy but the tips were huge!

*Tips fedora to cute non-binary girl*

m’theydy

I suck at building fences. Anyone have any tips?

Oh. I put this post in the wrong place, didn’t I?

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A young and an old banker were talking to each other.

The old banker tells the tips and tricks of being a banker to the young one

"Look son, to be successul at this job, it is not enough to seize the opportunity, sometimes you'll need to create the opportunity too. Look now, there is a pile of dog turd a few yards in front of us, it is most prob...

I asked my doctor if he takes tips.

He said I had mistaken him for a mohel.

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A cowboy walks into a bar.

He tips his hat to the bartender and sits at a booth in the corner.

A minute later, a priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk in and sit at a table.

Thirty seconds pass and a nun with a bullwhip leads an alligator on a leash to the cowboy’s booth.

Less than a minute goes by and a m...

The wise spice trader was known for his sage advice

He was less sought after for his oregano guidance, his thyme tips, and his rosemary consultations.

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For years I’ve been hearing about how Cosmo’s Sex Tips changed peoples love lives for the better

Wanda must be one lucky lady!

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Hans has a small Dick

(Long)

Hans lived in a small town and has a small dick. Everyone knew about it, the girls snickered behind his back, the guys used to tease him endlessly. He tried all the remedies to make his dick big and failed.

Dejected, he visited his local night club one day and saw his friend Pet...

My friend once had a job circumcising elephants

Well according to him the pay was lousy but at least the tips were huge!

Where do evergreens search for Christmas decorating tips?

Pine-terist

My friend asked for tips to pick up women

I told him to lift with his legs to avoid injuring his back.

Why does the ugly waitress work for tips?

Because nobody wants to stick the whole thing in

What do you call someone with frosted tips and dandruff?

Frosted flakes

I'm sorry

A bunch of boys decide to go cow tipping...

They go up to the fence and they are all standing there. They all point out the closest cow and have one of the boys go tip it over. The cow falls over and they all laugh. They find another cow and another kid goes over, tips it, and they laugh.

One of the boys sees a fence a little ways awa...

I asked an old couple for relationship tips and the wife said "tell him a fruit joke..."

And if he doesn't appreciate fruit jokes you need to let that mango.

I got a job at the Zoo.

I have to work my way up from the bottom.
My first job is circumcise the elephants.
They aren’t paying me, but the tips are HUGE.

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