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The Turk Jokes

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The Turks invented sex

and then the Greeks improved it by removing the sheep and adding lubrication.

The Romans perfected it by discovering that you could have it with women too, then the French ruined it by adding misogynistic condescension, and the British made it worse by adding shame; after that, the Americ...

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Did you know that the condom was invented by the Turks?

They used the intestines of sheep around their penis when having sex.

And did you know that years later, the Brits were the ones who improved the condom by removing the sheep?

A Turk, a Frenchman and an Englishman were traveling by train.

When it got hot in their room in the train, the Frenchman opened the window and a fly flew in.

To show his skill, the Frenchman drew his sword and hit the fly with one blow and it split in two. While the others looked on in amazement, the Frenchman took his business card out of his pocket and...

What did the Greeks say after Constantinople was taken by the Turks?

What a load of Istanbull

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Long before the Turks invented condoms

The greeks invented sex.

And the italians thought it was so good, they introduced it to women

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Trump wants to paint the Whitehouse. He asks for a quote from a Chinese guy, a European, and a Turk.

The Chinese guy says he can do it for 3 million dollars, the European says he can do it for 7 million, and the Turk says he can do it for 10 million.

Trump asks the Chinese man why it would cost 3 million and he responds "one for paint, one for my workers, and one for my profit".

Tru...

A long time ago the turks invented the condom by using the gut of a sheep

Many years later the English have revolutionised this concept by removing the gut from the sheep before using it as a condom

Russian at the disco.

Russian at the disco. A pretty girl at the bar next to him. After a while, a Turk comes up to the bar and says: - "You're hitting on my girlfriend. In a moment I see you outside and we'll handle it like men. A Russian comes out in front of the disco, looks at 50 Turks with knives in their hands. Aft...

"Turks have 3 problems..."

An Italian man walks into a nightclub wearing a shirt that says "Turks have 3 problems".

A turkish man approaches him and asks: "What the f*** is your shirt suppposed to mean?""

The Italian says: "See, that is your first problem. You turks are way too curious"

The Turkish man w...

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Tunnel project

A japanese, a german and a Turkish company are fighting to take a tunnel project from a government to complete.

The germans say they start digging from one end and get out from the other end and deliver one tunnel.

The japans say they would start digging from the both end and meet at ...

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Here is one of my favourite Iranian jokes that I've translated to English for you all, hope you like it

One day there was a king who had the the most beautiful daughter anyone had ever seen.

Everyone wanted to sleep with his daughter so he thought he would make a game of this.

King: "Anyone who can wrestle my lion and kill it will be given permission fuck my daughter"

For days m...

An animal lover talks to a turk

He asks the turk:"May I talk to your horse?"

"Horse not talk", he replies.

The animal lover asks the horse : "Hello horse how are you doing do you have enough food?"

"I'm doing fine and there is more than enough food too."

The animal lover asks the turk : "May I talk to ...

Ready for Thanksgiving, steps for a great Turkey!!!

Step 1. Buy a turkey
Step 2. Have a glass of wine
Step 3. Stuff the turkey
Step 4. Have a glass of wine
Step 5. Put turkey in oven
Step 6. Relax and have a glass of wine
Step 7. Turk the bastey
Step 8. Wine of glass another get
Step 9. Hunt for meat thermometer
Step 10. Gl...

An East German, West German and Berliner find a Genie...

They free him, and he says "I will grant each of you a wish."
The West German says "I want the Turks to stop stealing our women."
The East German says "I want the Berlin Wall reinstated."
The Berliner thinks very hard, and finally decides. "I will have a Mocha."

This joke gets told EVERY Thanksgiving... Might as well (re)post it here. "How to cook a turkey"

"How to cook a turkey"


Step 1: Go buy a turkey

Turkey Dinner Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD

Step 3: Put turkey in the oven

Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey

Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens

Cup of Beer Step 6: Take 3 more whiske...

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