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The Thing Jokes

What do you call a thief who keeps the things he stole on public display?

British

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The thing I learned from Beauty and the Beast:

Any girl can fall in love with you given you lock her in the basement long enough.

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The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

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That's the thing about sex jokes.

I don't get it.

I am writing a book about the things I should be doing in life.

It’s an oughttobiography.

People usually hate on horror films, but the thing is...

A great example of the genre and a fantastic film overall

Lincoln, Do the Thing!!! (4th of July Joke)

So, it's the 4th of July night and all the dead presidents are gathered around a campfire having a party. They're drinking and eating and just generally having a grand ol' time when President Washington puts President Lincoln on the spot.

W: "Hey, heyyyy, Lincoln, do that thing you do!
...

I once dated a girl, who owned a parrot. The thing would never shut up.

The parrot was cool though.

The thing with Russian Roulette is

you don't want to go last.

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You know the thing about a girl who does anal on the first date?

It’s easy to slide into her BM’s.

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