Possessive Jokes - 11 Hilarious Possessive Jokes

I heard people are very possessive over marijuana.

They even have joint-custody hearings.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm very possessive of the 83rd element on the periodic table?

It's my bismuth.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have a question. Is it for fuck's sake, or for fuck sake?

Like, should I put an apostrophe to show possessive? I guess the question would be, is it for the sake of all fucks, or just this fuck in particular?

Idk, so let me know because I'm at work trying to send an email, and I wanted to sound professional.

A man goes on a business trip to Boston and wants to try out the local cuisine.

So, as he gets into the cab at the airport, he asks the driver "Where can I get Scrod?" The driver replies "Mister, I've been asked that question many times and in many ways but never before in the Past Pluperfect Possessive."

So just some dating advice for y’all, never EVER date a demon!

They’re way too possessive!!

I married a ghost but we're in couples counseling now...

He can just be so possessive sometimes, ya know?

Ladies: They say you shouldn’t date apostrophes - but I disagree.

Sure, they can be possessive but they’re the only one ever findin’ that g-spot.

I'm done dating demons.

They're too possessive.

What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?

They would be more possessive and have more frequent contractions!

Never date an apostrophe...

they can be possessive.

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Program for a mobile device. 3 letters

Wife: App

Husband: Common Jewish surname, 5 letters

Wife: Stein

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Male poss...

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