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The Avengers Jokes

The hospital that my son is staying at got the Avengers to visit him.

He’s also going to see Stan Lee next week!

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers.

One day, Deadpool joined the Avengers. They traveled to a Hydra base surrounded by four barriers.

When they got to the first barrier, Hulk smashed it.

When they got to the second barrier, Tony Stark fired up his Iron Man suit and blasted a hole through it.

When they got to the t...

The Avengers: Endgame trailer has 14 million views from just one person

Dr. Strange

Did you hear about Bruce Banner losing his temper at the Avengers' pool party?

He made a Hulk Splash

Why do the avengers never lie?

If they did, someone would call Cap.

Why were the Avengers sent to Prison?

They forgot to ask the Age of Ultron.

Someone said I look like Thor from The Avengers

They have only seen The End Game

Why were the Avengers so tired after saving New York?

They were up all night to get Loki.

The avengers “infinity war” movie was almost 3 hours...

But I felt like it ended in a snap!

Why do the avengers make Black Widow share her location on her phone?

To stop her from Romanoff

My weekend was like the movie “The Avengers”

Loki

What STD did Thanos give the Avengers?

Goneorrhea.

What'd Thanos do when the avengers made him mad?

He Snapped

What does Mike Tyson say after a good workout with the Avengers?

I'm Thor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why can't the Avengers fight Thanos in the dark?

Their Vision's fucking useless.

Why does Santa call his workshop elves the Avengers?

Because the Avengers assemble

The avengers walk into a bar

Except vision. He phased.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Avengers were on a mission to save the Egyptian god of the sun.

Thanos, with the help of the Reality Stone, turned the god into a baby and usurped his powers. As he was about to kill him, in the nick of time, the Avengers showed up.

Diving forward, Captain America managed to snatch away the baby while Thanos was busy with his monologue. Realizing this, T...

Uncle Ben probably wouldn't have discouraged Peter from joining the Avengers

But his Aunt May

Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?

Because he doesn't work with Vision

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Avengers went to go and visit a child in the hospital on Friday.

The lucky kid gets to meet Stan Lee on Saturday.

Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade?

They had a gigantic Banner!

I really do wish Marvel would re-release The Avengers with Clark Gregg and Samuel L. Jackson swapping roles...

Black Coulson, wontcha come...

Thuperheroeth

A guy was walking down the street when he glanced down an alley and saw that it was almost entirely demolished. In the center of the rubble laid a man with all his teeth missing and blood pouring from his mouth.

The bystander ran up to the injured man. "What happened?"

"Well, I wath ...

Which one of the Avengers would hurt the most if he shrank down in size like Ant-Man?

Thor. Because he would be a little Thor.

What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

Tony Stark catching Nick Fury up on the events of Civil War

Tony: So anyway the Avengers broke up and Steve is a fugitive now.

Fury: Wait, are you serious?

Tony: No cap

My wife bought us an avengers puzzle to do together...

I said great. We can put some music on, have a few drinks and assemble the avengers.

What does Thanos and a child with cancer have in common?

All of the avengers show up for their endgame.

Why America failed to save the world from Coronavirus



Thor is in Asgard

Ironman died

Captain is now old

Hulk doesn't have much power. Rest of the Avengers are suffering from Corona and China ate Spiderman and Batman.

(Infinity War Speculation) When Thanos gains the mind stone, he will turn into Palpatine.

Because The Avengers will pay for their lack of Vision.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Impressing a date.

After weeks of trying everything he could think of accountant Frank Lester finally got the beautiful new secretary, Amanda, to agree to go out on a date with him. In an effort to impress the young woman Frank spared no expense: he hired a driver, wore his best suit, and managed to get reservations a...

Yo mama so fat

The avengers hired her for her ability to be everywhere at once!

Jeff was a prolific name dropper and his mate Jack had had enough.

“Surely you don’t know every person you mention,” he said.

“Sure do,” replied Jeff. “I know them all.”

Wanting proof, Jack wagered Jeff that he could find someone he didn’t know, a bet that Jeff accepted. They jumped on a plane and flew to Marvel Studios.

“OK,” said Jack, ...

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