UPJOKE
16vicouphanyidf0aafapbblclcpef

Tf Jokes

I hate it when people subtly flex where they went to college

I have this friend who went to Harvard and he just won’t shut tf up about it. He’s always been like this, even when we were in college together.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Smallest Dick In The World

3 guys are meeting at the pub. The first one said "I have the smallest arms in the world", the second "I have the smallest head in the world" and the third "I have the smallest dick in the world". Since they want all of that approved, they thought to go to the Guinness book of records. The first one...

a snake walks into a bar

The bartender asked him : how tf did you just do that

Netflix has ceased operation in Russia.

Now Russians have Nyetflix

A wealthy man walks into a bar...

*I've seen a joke here about a man with* ***a head the size of an orange*** *which is an absurdist response to an old dirty joke. I'm not sure everyone knows the original. I'll put the anti-joke version in the comments.*

\--------------

A wealthy man walks into a bar. He is clearly ric...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Your dick is so small”

Says the bitch with literally no penis tf

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock 2021

“Knock knock”
“Get tf outta here I can see you on my ring doorbell. I told you last week that I’m not into that shit”
“You can’t deny the chemistry we had last week” replied the guy in the furry perry the platypus costume

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I held an elevator door for an elderly patient...

I don't know if this belongs in jokes but I had to post it somewhere.

I am in the main hospital. I am going up to the 3rd floor and I call the elevator. I see an elderly patient coming and hold the door for him.

Patient: "Thank you"
Me: "Absolutely, where are we going?" wondering wh...

My classmates and I were discussing how difficult the last physics exam was.

"The highest grade was like a 65."
"Dude, I made a 15 on it."
"I did all I could, and I still made a 0."
I scoffed at them,"I got a -4."
"How TF is that even possible?"
I sighed,"Spelt my name wrong."

WHAT DID A ELEPHANT SAY TO A NAKED MAN?

How TF you breathe through that

Jealousy

my man got mad at me because he saw me messaging an old friend of mine on Reddit. I told him it was completely harmless and he said if he catch me on Reddit again, he gone swipe my whole head across the keyboard. As y'all can see I clearly don't give a fuuc ewszxdrd  gfy g igh igyh hj ohn mksezesxrt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big trip to the mountains with married women and their mothers-in-law was organized. They would go there by separate busses (the women in one bus and the mothers-in-law in another).

During the trip to the mountains, the bus carrying the mothers-in-law had a flat tire. Suddenly the bus driver lost control and the bus fell off the mountain, at least a couple thousand meters downhill. No chance anyone in that bus survived it. Obviously all of the women started cheering up, startin...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.