Tested Jokes

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.

The doctor tells him, “Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer’

The man, clearly frustrated, asks, “Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?”
... read more

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because




ROBOTS CAN... read more

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking h... read more

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus"

Anyone else concerned with how quickly the virus has jumped from human to politician?

They said I tested positive for opioids.

I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."

They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"

"It was an everything bagel."

For an IQ test

So I fired my drug dealer.

Guess you could say I started 2022 on a positive note.

They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

…wouldn’t it be funny if it was just because I wasn’t sticking the swab far enough into my ear?

They cut off its legs and said "jump!"

The frog didn't jump.

Scientists therefore concluded that when frogs lose their legs, they become deaf.

Looks like RBG won her first case before God.

The lab tech says to him, "I'm sorry, sir, but there has been a bit of a mix-up and we have a problem. When we sent the samples from your wife to the lab, the samples from another Mrs. Smith were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your wife's. Frankly, that's either bad or terrible."... read more

Looks like he got coronated at last!

...apparently COVID-19 was a little too old for him.

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

The optician brings out a card with the letters

C R W I N O K S T A Z

"Can you read the letters" asks the optician.

The Polish man:"Read it? I know the guy."

Many years ago, England was considering switching the Pound over to the dollar. As a test run to see how it would fare, they made a run of dollar coins that they distributed to the public.

Not wanting to get them confused with the one pound coins, they decided they would change the Queen's fa... read more

The staff asked me, if I had experienced a sudden lack of taste.
I replied, "no, I dress like this for a while now"

The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

Tried and Tested!

He's in a Stable condition...

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was vomit on his sweater already.

Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

for SHEWASNT-19

I'm moving away as soon as possible.

He managed to get the square into the square slot but struggled with the triangle and circle.

She said that she caught it off of her Cat.


Don't ask "Meow."

IQ, not COVID-19.

If he injects himself with bleach, then he will have a taste of his own medicine.

The pastor comes out and says, “They tested it and told me I’m A positive.”

The imam follows up with, “Interesting! I found out I’m AB negative.”

The rabbit looks at the two of them and says, “Pretty sure I’m a type O.”

Cough on a celebrity, politician, or rich person and wait for their results.

Bet if it was Covid 15 he'd be all over that though.

I said, “AND?”

I hope they've put it straight into iceolation

Let's be honest here, even that thing wouldn't voluntarily touch him.

I might be the dad

It turns out swallowing vampire is as dangerous as eating bat.

Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!

One of the symptoms of the disease is having no taste.

It's always so hard to act surprised.

Tent-in Quarantino.