Tasted Jokes - 29 Hilarious Tasted Jokes

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A girl I met last night told me her pussy tasted like a rainbow...

Found out that she meant 'Trout' and not 'Skittles.'

I always wondered why gun barrels tasted salty

Until I realized I'm always crying when I put one in my mouth

What did the Trout say when it tasted nightcrawler for the first time?

I’m hooked!

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

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Worst joke I know (nsfw)

I was eating out this chick and I tasted horse semen.
So I looked up and said " Ew grandma! Is that how you died?"

My roommate said the coffee tasted like dirt

Well, it was ground this morning

The wine taster at an old vineyard died. A homeless guy, looking ragged And dirty, came to apply. He persuaded the manager to give him a try.

The guy was given a glass of wine. He swirled, smelled, sipped and spit. “It's a red wine, Merlot, three years old, grown on the South Slope and matured in oak barrels." He said. "Impressive," said the manager.

The man is given another. "Still a red wine, Cabernet, eight years old, from the N...

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I took a few pages from Moby Dick and boiled them to see what it tasted like.

It was just okay, but I might not do it again. It was a novel tea.

God created the first Swiss and asked him:

"What do you want?"
"Mountains," replied the Swiss.

God created mountains for the Swiss and asked him, "What else do you want?"
"Cows," said the Swiss.

God created cows for the Swiss. The Swiss milked the cows, tasted the milk and asked, "Will you taste, dear God?" The Swiss fill...

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A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his<...

my friend fed me rabbit for the first time and I told him it tasted like beer.

Must've been from all the hops.

I took a class recently on the history of food preservation.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy to mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.

Things went great for a while, with some food...

I wanted to try Spaghetti in Italy to see if it was better, but it tasted the same.

Though it was a bit cold from the flight over.

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During my visit to Bruxelles over the weekend, I was offered a burger made from insects and everyone assured me it tasted 100% like the real thing.

I thought "Fuck, how do those guys in Belgium know how crickets taste?"

The bagel my wife gave me tasted very odd

She said it was quim cheese.

Ever tasted Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

I asked a cannibal if humans tasted good.

He said it can vary from person to person.

Have you tasted baby Wookie meat?

They say it's a little Chewie

A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...

He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"

The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.

She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.

She held it up, shook it and said. "...

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If ass tasted like cookies, would you be willing to eat ass?

Maybe, but you’d never be able to look the same way again at Cookie Monster.

A nom nom nom nom.

What did Oedipus say whenever he tasted something savoury?

Oo mommy

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Got drunk and told my arabic neighbor his cooking tasted like shit

I really falafel about it

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Today, i for the first time tasted pussy..

God, I hate cats..

A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey

When the barman serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it.

As he's enjoying his drink, a nun walks by, and glares at him sourly. "How can you pollute your soul with the Devil's drink like that?" she asks.

The man shrugs. "It's not the Devil, it's just w...

I accidentally drank from a co-workers coffee cup. It tasted horrible.

It was not my cup of tea.

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

My brother said his pasta tasted weak and brittle.

It seems to have a bad case of sauceteoporosis.

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