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The Gap Jokes

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Bridging the gap

Fellas,

If you want your wife to know what it's like to wait around doing nothing while she shops then have her sit next to you while you're browsing pornhub looking for the right video

Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap.

There were a lot of casual tees.

Why did Michael Jackson run to the Gap?

Because he heard that kid's pants were half off!

Used to know a guy who worked at the GAP. Spent half his paychecks buying clothes there.

He really sold himself shorts.

Did you hear the one about the Stockbroker who got a job at the GAP?

He’s a shorts-seller

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A DEA agent stopped at our farm yesterday.

“We are going to need to search your land for illegally grown drugs.”

I said, “that’s fine, but don’t go into that field over there. You won’t like it.”

Agitated by this, the officer explodes saying, “do you see this god damn badge son?! This badge means I can go where I please, when I...

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What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs?

Silicone Valley.

Two guys in an asylum decide one night they're sick of living there, and decide to escape. They make their way to the roof, and just across this tiny gap are the rooftops of the town, glowing in the moon light. Freedom The first guy jumps right across but his pal didn't dare for fear of falling.

However, the first guy has an idea...
He says "Hey! I got my flashlight! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!"

The second guy just shakes his head and says: "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn off the light when I was halfw...

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It was the first night for a newlywed couple. The bride was still a virgin because she heard how much sex can hurt if a man has a large dick.

To make his bride feel at ease, the groom said to her, "OK, I am going to go outside and slowly show you my dick through the door. Stay calm, there is nothing to be afraid of".

So he walked out, leaving the door slightly ajar and then stuck a little bit of his dick through the gap and asked, ...

"Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. "

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think my wife has a hearing problem. She doesn't seem to hear what ever I tell her."

The doctor replies, "Oh, is that so? Well, let me try to help you. Just try this method when you get home today. Stand around 50 feet from her and ask her somethi...

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A woman listen’s in on her 4 year old playing with his train set

“All those getting off, go on fuck off, and all those gettin on fucking hurry up”

The woman smacks his bum and sends him upstairs till he’s learned his lesson.

2 hours later the boy comes back down, says sorry to his mum and carries on playing, Mum listens in:

”all those depart...

Which designer fashion brand would never print their name on panties?

The Gap

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Unfortunate

This guy lives in Westchester, NY and goes to school at Ithaca College. For two years, he has wanted to ask a certain girl (who is also from Westchester and also goes to Ithaca) out on a date, but has never had the courage.

Finally, one day over the summer, he sees her at home and musters up...

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room

A smart man and a not so smart man are locked in a room. One day they decided they didn’t like being locked up anymore, and wanted to escape. The not so smart one has to rely on the smart one to get out. So they made their way up to the roof through a series of vents. Once up on the roof of the buil...

Two psychic ward patients are escaping the facility...

They get to a point where they have to cross a gap between two buildings. The first guy has no problem, jumps the gap, but the second guy is scared of heights and refuses to jump.

So the first prisoner thinks for a bit, and proposes a solution:

"How about this, I'll shine my flashlight...

Ticket please

Three engineers and three accountants are in the queue to buy a train ticket.

The three accountants buy a ticket each; three in all. The engineers, however, buy one ticket between them.

“How are you…?” ask the accountants.
“We know what to do,” reply the engineers.

And all si...

So this British geologist is going over some old land surveys ...

and he sees an abandoned gold deposit. He compares it to a modern map, and sees that it's under a mall. He decides to break in and find the gold. Turns out that the store closest to the gold is an American clothing store. So late at night, he broke in and mined The Gap.

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Cliff and Billy are two farmers, who have been friends their entire lives.

Billy goes to Cliff's house, but he can't find him anywhere. Just as Billy is about to leave, he walks by the barn doors and sees Cliff through the gap. Cliff has his pants around his ankles and his dick in the exhaust pipe of his old John Deere.

"What the hell are you doing?" Bill exclaims.<...

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A woman is speeding down the highway

while driving her convertible sports car. She flies past a billboard, behind which is parked a highway patrol officer. Startled by her outrageous velocity, the cop flicks on his lights and siren and pulls out from his hiding spot, tearing up asphalt to close the gap.

She notices his approach...

Two men break out of a mental institution.

Two men steal flashlights and break out of a mental institution. They find themselves on the roof of the building with orderlies closing in. The men look and see there is an adjacent roof they might be able to jump onto. The first man runs and leaps over the gap, landing on the roof of the next buil...

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After 10 years...

After 10 years, a mother realizes her kid looks a little funny and gets a DNA test done. Surprise, it's not her child! She tells the husband, who calmly replies, "What, you don't remember?" The wife shakes her head worriedly, hoping her husband's answer will fill in the gap. He says to her: "When we...

Two cellmates in an asylum decide to escape

So they wait until midnight, when everyone is asleep, and start. They grab their bedsheets and tie them end-to-end to make a rope. Soon, though, they realize that they're on the top floor, and that they wouldn't have enough rope to climb down to the ground. Then, one of them gets an idea. He says "H...

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah

Luke and Yoda are training on Dagobah. Suddenly, part of the ledge in front of them falls off. "Oh no, what do we do, master?" asked Luke. "Worry not" replied Yoda. Yoda takes out a giant 6-foot fork, lays it across the gap in the ledge, and they use it as a bridge.

Soon enough, they come to ...

Two insane patients escaping from medical facility...

They found the way during the night to reach the roof and jump the gap to building next door. The first guy jumped over, but second guy was afraid of heights and froze. The first guy tried to reassure him "look, I'll glow this flashlight and you can easily walk over the beam"

The other guy re...

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

Two men live in a mental hospital

One day, they are fed up with the place and decide to escape.

So, that night, they both snuck up on to the roof, and see the lights of the city in the distance.

The first guy jumps from the roof to a large tree branch that is just a short distance away, and became free in that moment.<...

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Dave is playing poker at friends house with a group of mates.

As the game progresses, the urge to unload his bowels becomes overwhelming. Deciding he can't hold on any longer, he runs to the toilet, mid hand, to take a dump.

After unloading a poop King Kong would be proud of, he flushes the toilet, it won't stop going! Filthy poo water starts pouring o...

Long ago there were two men, David and Nikolay the Wise

They were laying outside on a field one day comparing their intelligence when David turned to Nikolay.

He told Nikolay that he had a higher iq so he must be smarter. Nikolay just laughed and told him there was only one way to tell who was smarter. They must go to a canyon and cross it, the fi...

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