UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A big, brawny guy crashes through the saloon doors:

“I’M BIG! I’M MEAN! AND I GOT A COCK THE SIZE OF TEXAS!”

A small, scrawny man standing nearby stammers out- “Wha... what’s your name?”

“TURNER BROWN!”

The little guy faints dead away. A few minutes later, the big guy manages to rouse him:

“WHAT AILS YA’ SON? ALL I SAI...

Sunday off

Six girls, one guy, sailing a boat in the open ocean. Tragedy strikes, and the boat slowly starts to sink. None of the girls know how to swim and they desperately beg the guy to save them. The brawny guy indeed saves all of them.

They end up in a desert island, and wonder what they will do w...

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Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if I think it's sad or interesting enough, I'll let you in."

He walks up to the first man who is a nerdy, bo...

If anyone is still having trouble finding toilet paper or paper towels, I know a guy you can call...

Dog the Bounty Hunter. He's brawny and some people find him strangely charmin'.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A huntsman wanders into the woods...

And he stumbles across a small brown bear. He pulls up his shotgun, and kills the animal. As he's celebrating, he gets a tap on the shoulder; it's a black bear.

"You didn't want to be doing that buddy. I either kill you, or I do you in the butt."

The huntsman is taken aback, but eventu...

Just as the Count was about to pounce on van Helsing, the door to the library was flung open.

Incontinently, a host of furious villagers stormed into the library, waving blazing torches and voicing dire threats. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing.

"Count Dracula!" cried the burgomaster, a solid ci...

A collection of Waspy jokes about yo-mamma

1. Your mother is so déclassé, she has a time-share
near Sea World!

2. Your mother is so prescription drug dependent,
she pops Xanax like Godiva bonbons!

3. Your mother is so lower middle-class, she thinks
Egyptian cotton smells of camels!

4. Your mother...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fat man is watching television

He is desperate about his weight situation, all of the sudden he sees an advertisement about losing weight on a tv channel, the woman on the tv shows 3 lose weight secrets that can be deliver to your house but without knowing what the actual product is, she also mentions to be aware of the third on...

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