Irregular is something you never want to hear at a check up.

Unless you’re at the ear doctor.

Did you hear about the convention for irregular and non-quadrilateral shapes?

Be there or be sqaure

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I wish 'twitter' was an irregular verb so we could conjugate it thusly: twitter, twat, twitten

huehue

St. Peter conducts a census in heaven and realises someone is missing.

So he goes to the computer and realises that an engineer accidentally landed up in hell. He get’s on the phone to Old Nick.

St. Peter: So, Nick, we have an issue with this engineering guy Robert. He is supposed to be with us. Can you send him up?

Nick: Bob? No way. Not going to. Since...

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There's a little known legend about Attila the hun

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

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A man walks into the IRS office

A man walks into the IRS office. The person at the desk asks "Sir, why are these charges on your account irregular?"
"That's easy, I make a lotta bets."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I bet you 5,000 dollars that I can bite my eyeball." The man pauses and looks at him questioning every word. "Okay, g...

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Geologists may not always get along, but when the schist hits the fan...

Its coarse-grained, metamorphic layers can be split into thin irregular plates from the impact.

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The Watchmaker

The Boy was due to meet his friends down the third alley from the green sign. The bar at the end of that alley, they had said, was a place where spirits and souls mixed together with the languid flow of warm summer air.

But The Boy had started drinking when the sun was still ascending, and n...

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Two old men are talking about life.

One says to the other, "I've been having trouble going to the toilet recently, waking up in the middle of the night to empty my bladder and can't go when I get there. Things are becoming really irregular. Do you have the same problems?"

The other old man replies, "Nope, perfectly regular. I p...

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