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Strip Club Jokes

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A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if hes been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "Hes on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if hed like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
<...

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A man walks into a strip club...

And sits down at the runway. He watches for a bit, and then the strippers start to make their rounds. One sits in his lap. "Would you like a dance?" She asks. Why not, the man thinks, "let's go!"

The stripper guides him to the lapdance area. While there, she asks if he wants to go to the...

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A wife takes her husband to a strip club for their 20th anniversary

At the entrance, the guard says to the husband, "Hey Simon, how's it going?"
The woman asks her husband how he knows you, the husband answers from the gym.
They enter and sit at the bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey Simon, the usual?".
The husband turns to his wife tensely saying, we pla...

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A Soviet Strip Club

In the seventies, Soviet party members decide on establishing the first strip club in Moscow


They plan out everything, yet somehow there's next to no income. After some discussion, they decide on inviting two American experts to inspect the place.

The Americans look around for a m...

I feel sorry for the guys who regularly go to strip clubs...

Every time I go I think, "Man, I see some of these losers here every week."

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A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday.

At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?"

The wife asks, "How does he know you?"

Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."

Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"

Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts team."

Next a stri...

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I went to a Paraplegic Strip Club the other day . . .

NSFW

>!The place was crawling with pussy.!<

What's the Difference between a Casino and a Strip Club

You actually have a chance of getting screwed at the casino.

My dad told me never to go to a cheap, sleazy, dirty, raunchy strip club, because you'll see something you really shouldn't.

So I went.

And I saw my dad.

I wanted to open a new Strip Club that serves seafood.

Calling it Bass To Mouth

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3 guys and a strip club

3 guys went to a strip club. 1st guy went into a booth with one of the girls and she jerked him off with a donut.

He went back and told the other they needed to go back there.

2nd guy went back there and the same thing happened. The 2 guys told the 3rd guy he needed to go back, he'd ...

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My strip club is starting a new job equity program.

We call it Diversititty.

Why did the pasta maker go to the strip club?

Because he was feeling cannelloni

*Dad walks into strip club*

Dad: “Twerking hard or hardly twerking?”

My dad said 'Son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn't.

So i went in and he was right.





I saw my dad.

My neighborhood strip club has gone out of business.

The sign on the door says "sorry, we're clothed."

I started an internship at a strip club today

I’m being paid in exposure

Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club.

Teen: Dad, no!!!





Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.

I was in a Thai strip club.

After flirting with one of the workers, I suggested we go to the bathroom together.

"Ooo, what for, honey?" she winked.

I said, "Clarity."

I got a job at the strip club.

"I help the girls get dressed and undressed."

"Great gig. How much?"

"Twenty dollars a day."

"That's not very much."

"It's all I can afford."

The difference between a rich man at a strip club and a poor man at a strip club.

The rich man shows up to spend lots of cash and have a good time.

The poor man is there to take his sister home.

What will you see if you visit a haunted strip club?

BOOOOOOBIES

The owner of the local strip club has a lisp.

I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.

A man went to a strip club

When he got inside he noticed an empty seat in the front row. Seizing the opportunity, he took the seat. As soon as the first dancer walked out, the guy directly behind him yelled, ‘Yeah baby! That's what I've been waiting for!’ The man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look.
...

Why did Rudolph go to the strip club?

He heard he’d see his good friend Dancer there.

Why should you not build an outdoor strip club?

In the winter time, you’ll get your lips stuck on the pole

What is the deal with strip club food?

It lacks dressing

What did Julius Caesar say after visiting a strip club?

Veni vidi veni

Why did the mathematician go to the strip club?

He was trying to find the x.

Newton walks into strip club

He met a girl ,calculated the tangent to her curve.

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Got thrown out of a strip club once

Didn’t know I wasn’t supposed throw quarters at the strippers

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I'm planning on starting a strip club....

... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.


I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.


The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".

The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.

There is a haunted strip club in my town

I asked my wife if I could go see some BoOoOo-bies

What's the difference between a circus and a strip club?

A circus is full of cunning stunts

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I'm going to open a Scottish themed strip club...

I'm going to call it haggis, nips and titties

An employee I loathe accidently used the company credit card at the strip club.

.



I wanted to give him a hard time, you know… rub it in his face.

Lil late for that though.

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I once had donuts delivered to my favorite strip club

The baker asked how many strippers were there and I said there were six. He sent them two donuts each. He remarked, "You know, that works out pretty evenly!" and I said, "Yeah, dozen tit?"

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Why didn't Hitler go to strip clubs?

Because he didn't like poles.

What did Santa say at the strip club?

Ho! Ho! Ho!

You’re all on my naughty list!

Photography at a strip club was a failure

Everyone in the photos was over-exposed

Myself & a bunch of guy friends tried to go to the new strip club named “The G Spot”…

We couldn’t find it.

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I went to the Worst Strip Club in Texas

There was only one other person there, a 80-something year old woman with flabby tits and makeup so thick it caked up around her eyes. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, smoking a rolled up cigarette between her dentures with her prosthetic metal hook hand.

When she saw me, she stood u...

The owners of my local strip club have closed until further notice

Apparently nobody wants to twerk anymore!

NSFW Guy is in the front row at the strip club.

NSFW

He’s quietly drinking and tipping the dancers when a particularly beautiful girl comes out and begins a sensual strip tease. The guy behind him immediately starts whooping and calling out, “yeah baby! take it off! Take it off!! woo hoo!”

As she gets completely naked and leaves the...

3 mods walk into a strip club

[removed]

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Two guys were leaving the strip club...

Jim and John were out of one dollar bills, and it was very late.

"Oh no", John say's - "the wife is gonna kill me. When I'm out too late, I park a block away, take me shoes off in the drive way, use my oiled key in the lock, take off my clothes in the living room, tip-toe upstairs, hold my ...

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So I went to the local strip club.

Got a lap dance from a stripper named Cinderella. I thought it was a odd stripper name but then it made sense. Her Dad wasn't around, didn't get along with stepmom, and wore see through shoes.

In the spirit of Superb Owl, I am opening a strip club inspired by recent events

called Oscar’s Lap

I bet Santa spends a lot of time at strip clubs

He loves them ho ho ho’s

A husband returns and tells his wife he spent her money at the strip club

The wife is angry and asks? "You went to the strip club and spent my money? I told your to spend my money on some fruit from the grocery store!"

And the husband sighs and says, "No, you told me to spend it on a pair of melons. Do I look like a mind reader to you?"

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Sam got thrown out a Strip club for using monopoly money.

Sam's logic - Why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

Have you heard what happen to Mike Tyson's strip club?

Do to covid-19 they're clothed till further notice.

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A friend invited me to a strip club

And after after 10 minutes of a topless lap dance from a stripper, my wife tapped on my shoulder with a very angry look. It was a booby trap.

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A well-traveled man goes to a strip club

When he gets a lap dance from one of the strippers, he asks if she is Chilean

‘Yes, I am!’ she says ‘How did you know?’

‘Well’ says the man ‘Much like Chile, you are tall and slim’

He later gets a lap dance from another stripper, and asks if she is Swiss

‘Yes, I am!’ she ...

Fancy Strip Club

I found my self at a strip club one evening. Apparently it was a nice one because when I pulled out a dollar bill to tip one of the dancers she promptly told me "sorry darling but we only take big bills here." without missing a beat I said "no problem hun, all I have are big bills." i winked at her,...

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A Bear and a Blueberry Walk Into a Strip Club

And they both walk towards the same stripper. After a while, the bear turns over to the blueberry and says, "You know what, Richard, you and I are a lot more alike than we seem." The blueberry says, "How do you figure that, Bob?" and Bob says, "Well, as you can see, we both like our women plump and ...

Why did the Alabama strip club close?

They lost too much money from the family discount.

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Why did Sean Connery get kicked out of the strip club?

He told a stripper to sit on his lap.

Today i saw a strip club across the road from a minigolf place.

I'm liberal but that's too much for me. What if your trying to have a nice afternoon with your family and kids and you look across the street and have to see a bunch of losers playing minigolf.

Why are strip clubs closed at night on Nov 3rd?

Because that's when the polls close.

I try not to talk about my time in strip clubs.

It always brings up bad mammarys.

I’m thinking about starting a strip club/Thai restaurant.

Gonna call it “Right between the thai’s”

A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a strip club.

The bouncer checks their ID's and says

"sorry guys, come back when you're 21."

The blind man walked into a strip club and said

" this is the first fish market I've been to where they play music"

I caught my Dad in a strip club the other day.

I was going to tell mum, but he was making good tips and we could do with the money.

I see the strip clubs are still open...

For take out only.

Why don't they let whales into strip clubs?

They tend to humpback.

I took a poll from all the local strip clubs.

100% of them wants their poles back.

I just visited a posh strip club in Northern Canada.

They call it Brrrlesque.

A group of pirates walked out of a strip club with disappointed looks on their faces.

They were hoping to find some booty, but all they got were sunken chests.

Want to go to the strip club for lunch today?

I hear they have a great spread.

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A Drill Sergeant goes to a strip club...

A drill sergeant stationed at Fort Benning heads down to the strip club on a friday night. He's having a good time, having a few drinks. One of the strippers takes a liking to him and offers a private dance. He agrees and they head to the back room. While she's dancing, she asks him what he does for...

A guy goes to a strip club with his friends

As they enter they see a huge naked fat chick dancing in the table. The guy says “Nice legs” and the fat lady replies “Oh you really think so?”. The guy then says “Yeah definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now”

Please excuse any mistakes you may see as english is not my first langu...

Before the quarantine I was going to strip clubs almost every day

But now they're all clothed until further notice.

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There is a smiling security guard in the bathroom at the strip club i go to... [Long]

Night or day doesnt matter, you go in and he just stares you down while you’re using the pisser with the biggest smile on his face.

Ive tried talking to him several times but he just stands there and smiles like the queens guard or some shit. I figured i would test him a bit and see what i c...

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A man goes to a strip club with an alligator.

He says, "I bet you that I can put my dick into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his dick into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute...

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It's Catherine and Michael's 15th Wedding Anniversary

>**Catherine:** "You know what, You've bought me enough jewelry the past 15 anniversaries, so this time I'm gonna make it all about you."

*Catherine decides to take Michael to a strip club as a special little gift. They arrive at the strip club, and are greeted by the bouncer at the do...

What do you call the stage at a Polish strip club?

Empty. It only has a Pole.

So I went to the strip club and ordered food

One of the girls said, "we don't serve food here."

I said nah I want a twerky sandwich.

What's the first thing you do when the strip club is on fire?

You get the hoes out.

Between my friends, museum is code word for Strip Clubs...

... because NO TOUCHING!!

Two roosters go to a strip club...

... The first says to the second: "Are you a leg or a breast man?"

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Wife takes husband to strip club for his bday....

A wife decides to reward his good husband for his bday by taking him to a strip club.
As they walk in the doorman says "welcome Mr. Howard", wife stares at husband with a surprised look, as they sit down the waitress comes over and says "scotch on the rocks Mr Howard", wife starts getting angry,...

Did you hear about the philosopher who went to the strip club?

He was deep in THOT.

What’s it called when a not important person sneaks into the VIP section of a strip club?

a NIP slip

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I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs...

All you do is throw money at women who refuse to have sex with you. If I wanted that I would be married.

What do a strip club and a Reddit data center have in common?

Both are full of big racks and lonely guys.

So I'm opening a soup-based strip club

I'm thinking about naming it "The Brothel"

I was in the strip club watching one of the women on the pole.

I leaned forward and shouted, "Mind if I have a dance?"

"Oh, honey, no problem," she smiled.

"Thanks," I said, ripping off my shirt. "Move over then, it's my turn."

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