My dad told me once, son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn't. So of course, I went, and he was right.

I saw my dad

*Dad walks into strip club*

Dad: “Twerking hard or hardly twerking?”

I wanted to open a new Strip Club that serves seafood.

Calling it Bass To Mouth

I feel sorry for the guys who regularly go to strip clubs...

Every time I go I think, "Man, I see some of these losers here every week."

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A strip club joke

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a w...

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I once had donuts delivered to my favorite strip club

The baker asked how many strippers were there and I said there were six. He sent them two donuts each. He remarked, "You know, that works out pretty evenly!" and I said, "Yeah, dozen tit?"

A boy comes home from a strip club to find his mother waiting for him

Already aware of what her son had been doing, she asks, “And what did you see, young man?”

“Something I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Oh? Your father?”

“No, your mother.”

Why did the mathematician go to the strip club?

He was trying to find the x.

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How I got banned from the strip club for giving a tip. (Long story)

I saw this patron at the club often buying a hundred pack of one dollar bills.

He would break open the pack and toss them all up in the air and shout **"Let it Rain"**

All the girls would scramble to pick up all the money and all you saw was ass and titts eveywhere for about 20 second...

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A Soviet Strip Club

In the seventies, Soviet party members decide on establishing the first strip club in Moscow


They plan out everything, yet somehow there's next to no income. After some discussion, they decide on inviting two American experts to inspect the place.

The Americans look around for a m...

I went to the strip club last night and it was closed...

I guess nobody wants to twerk anymore.

A husband returns and tells his wife he spent her money at the strip club

The wife is angry and asks? "You went to the strip club and spent my money? I told your to spend my money on some fruit from the grocery store!"

And the husband sighs and says, "No, you told me to spend it on a pair of melons. Do I look like a mind reader to you?"

The difference between a rich man at a strip club and a poor man at a strip club.

The rich man shows up to spend lots of cash and have a good time.

The poor man is there to take his sister home.

Photography at a strip club was a failure

Everyone in the photos was over-exposed

What's the Difference between a Casino and a Strip Club

You actually have a chance of getting screwed at the casino.

My dad told me never to go to a cheap, sleazy, dirty, raunchy strip club, because you'll see something you really shouldn't.

So I went.

And I saw my dad.

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There is a smiling security guard in the bathroom at the strip club i go to... [Long]

Night or day doesnt matter, you go in and he just stares you down while you’re using the pisser with the biggest smile on his face.

Ive tried talking to him several times but he just stands there and smiles like the queens guard or some shit. I figured i would test him a bit and see what i c...

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Why does Hitler not like going to strip clubs?

He hates the Poles

I bet Santa spends a lot of time at strip clubs

He loves them ho ho ho’s

Newton walks into strip club

He met a girl ,calculated the tangent to her curve.

What's the difference between a circus and strip club?

One is a cunning display of stunts...

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I'm planning on starting a strip club....

... in Poland. It will be called Pole Land.


I will hire people from ex law enforcement as strippers.


The slogan for the club will be: "Welcome to Pole Land, in Poland: Where Polish police polish your pole".

The slogan did pretty well in market research polls.

NSFW Guy is in the front row at the strip club.

NSFW

He’s quietly drinking and tipping the dancers when a particularly beautiful girl comes out and begins a sensual strip tease. The guy behind him immediately starts whooping and calling out, “yeah baby! take it off! Take it off!! woo hoo!”

As she gets completely naked and leaves the...

What did Julius Caesar say when he went to the strip club?

Veni, vidi, veni.

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Roger is a hard worker and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
“No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”


They are seated and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, “Nice to see you, R...

A guy goes to a strip club with his friends

As they enter they see a huge naked fat chick dancing in the table. The guy says “Nice legs” and the fat lady replies “Oh you really think so?”. The guy then says “Yeah definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now”

Please excuse any mistakes you may see as english is not my first langu...

What do you call a strip club that serves spaghetti and meatballs?

Titaly

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3 guys and a strip club

3 guys went to a strip club. 1st guy went into a booth with one of the girls and she jerked him off with a donut.

He went back and told the other they needed to go back there.

2nd guy went back there and the same thing happened. The 2 guys told the 3rd guy he needed to go back, he'd ...

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A Bear and a Blueberry Walk Into a Strip Club

And they both walk towards the same stripper. After a while, the bear turns over to the blueberry and says, "You know what, Richard, you and I are a lot more alike than we seem." The blueberry says, "How do you figure that, Bob?" and Bob says, "Well, as you can see, we both like our women plump and ...

What did Santa say at the strip club?

Ho! Ho! Ho!

You’re all on my naughty list!

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So I went to the local strip club.

Got a lap dance from a stripper named Cinderella. I thought it was a odd stripper name but then it made sense. Her Dad wasn't around, didn't get along with stepmom, and wore see through shoes.

Why are strip clubs closed at night on Nov 3rd?

Because that's when the polls close.

I just saw Oregon has a drive-thru strip club. Today, we salute these frontline workers who are taking care of the Beaver State’s residents in response to COVID-19...

Heroes Twerk Here

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A well-traveled man goes to a strip club

When he gets a lap dance from one of the strippers, he asks if she is Chilean

‘Yes, I am!’ she says ‘How did you know?’

‘Well’ says the man ‘Much like Chile, you are tall and slim’

He later gets a lap dance from another stripper, and asks if she is Swiss

‘Yes, I am!’ she ...

Growing up my Mom told me to never go to the strip club on the edge of town because I would see things I really shouldn’t see.

As soon as I got a fake ID my friends and I went.

I saw my Mom there.

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A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday.

At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?"

The wife asks, "How does he know you?"

Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him."

Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?"

Jim says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts team."

Next a stri...

Have you heard what happen to Mike Tyson's strip club?

Do to covid-19 they're clothed till further notice.

I try not to talk about my time in strip clubs.

It always brings up bad mammarys.

A hammer walks into a strip club

Sits down, buys a lap dance.
Girl does lap dance and then leaves
Hammer says to his buddy, "I'd love to nail that girl".

Buddy goes, "you can't, she's a screw"

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A friend invited me to a strip club

And after after 10 minutes of a topless lap dance from a stripper, my wife tapped on my shoulder with a very angry look. It was a booby trap.

Mike Tyson Opens a Strip Club

When they are open, the sign says: "We're Open"

When they are not open, the sign says: "We're Clothed"

A group of pirates walked out of a strip club with disappointed looks on their faces.

They were hoping to find some booty, but all they got were sunken chests.

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Sam got thrown out a Strip club for using monopoly money.

Sam's logic - Why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

The blind man walked into a strip club and said

" this is the first fish market I've been to where they play music"

The owner of the local strip club has a lisp.

I tried to go last night, but they were clothed.

What’s it called when a not important person sneaks into the VIP section of a strip club?

a NIP slip

Before the quarantine I was going to strip clubs almost every day

But now they're all clothed until further notice.

Today i saw a strip club across the road from a minigolf place.

I'm liberal but that's too much for me. What if your trying to have a nice afternoon with your family and kids and you look across the street and have to see a bunch of losers playing minigolf.

Growing up my Dad told me to never go to strip clubs. He said they are raunchy and I will see things I can't unsee that will haunt me for life.

At 18, I went to a strip club anyway and he was right. I saw my Dad in there.

I got kicked out of the strip club

Well if you put "strip" in the name I'm gonna do it.

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Due to coronavirus, an all nude strip club owner put out a sign at the entrance of notifying customers of halted business operations

“Clothed for business”

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The other day I went to a Paraplegic Strip Club

That place was crawling with pussy.

A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a strip club.

The bouncer checks their ID's and says

"sorry guys, come back when you're 21."

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A man walks into a strip club...

And sits down at the runway. He watches for a bit, and then the strippers start to make their rounds. One sits in his lap. "Would you like a dance?" She asks. Why not, the man thinks, "let's go!"

The stripper guides him to the lapdance area. While there, she asks if he wants to go to the...

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Why did Sean Connery get kicked out of the strip club?

He told a stripper to sit on his lap.

I caught my Dad in a strip club the other day.

I was going to tell mum, but he was making good tips and we could do with the money.

I took a poll from all the local strip clubs.

100% of them wants their poles back.

Jeb Bush is respectful at strip clubs...

...he tells the dancers to “please clap” them cheeks.

Dad: When you turn 18, I'm taking you to the strip club.

Teen: Dad, no!!!





Dad: Oh shut up Jessica, it's time for you to start bringing money to the house.

As a fat, single, 40 year old man, I've been to alot of strip clubs.

Too bad I haven't made much money.

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A man goes to a strip club with an alligator.

He says, "I bet you that I can put my dick into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his dick into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute...

What's the first thing you do when the strip club is on fire?

You get the hoes out.

I’m thinking about starting a strip club/Thai restaurant.

Gonna call it “Right between the thai’s”

The local strip club had a sale.

Their sign said a penny for our thots.

Why did the Alabama strip club close?

They lost too much money from the family discount.

I told my dad the strip club had the best steaks in town. He told me what their slogan should be.

You can't beat the meat here.

I went to a strip club and when my new girlfriend found out she went mental.

How was I supposed to know she worked there as a bartender?

3 mods walk into a strip club

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A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?

Boy: Yes, I saw dad!

What do you call the stage at a Polish strip club?

Empty. It only has a Pole.

What is the pink panther thinking when he walks into a strip club?

Tiddy - tiddy - tiddy, tiddy, tiddy, tiddy, tiddyyy

Our town's male strip club has employed a lot of poorly endowed men.

Ironically, they aren't short staffed.

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Two guys were leaving the strip club...

Jim and John were out of one dollar bills, and it was very late.

"Oh no", John say's - "the wife is gonna kill me. When I'm out too late, I park a block away, take me shoes off in the drive way, use my oiled key in the lock, take off my clothes in the living room, tip-toe upstairs, hold my ...

I was in the strip club watching one of the women on the pole.

I leaned forward and shouted, "Mind if I have a dance?"

"Oh, honey, no problem," she smiled.

"Thanks," I said, ripping off my shirt. "Move over then, it's my turn."

Did you hear about the philosopher who went to the strip club?

He was deep in THOT.

I was driving down the road when I passed a strip club that advertised it had "high caliber women".

To this day I still can't understand why they wouldn't want someone under 45 working there.

I just visited a posh strip club in Northern Canada.

They call it Brrrlesque.

What do a strip club and a Reddit data center have in common?

Both are full of big racks and lonely guys.

What did the fireman say when he walked into the burning strip club?

Where my hose at?

Want to go to the strip club for lunch today?

I hear they have a great spread.

An englishman was sued for discrimination after firing all the redheads from his strip club.

He was able to get off Scot-free.

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A Drill Sergeant goes to a strip club...

A drill sergeant stationed at Fort Benning heads down to the strip club on a friday night. He's having a good time, having a few drinks. One of the strippers takes a liking to him and offers a private dance. He agrees and they head to the back room. While she's dancing, she asks him what he does for...

I saw the most disgusting thing today: a strip club across the street from a playground.

Just trying to enjoy the day with my family while losers are swinging on monkey bars 50 feet away.

A company decides to build a strip club across the street from a mini-golf place.

A bunch of people were really upset about this, and you can't really blame them. I mean, who wants to be enjoying a nice family outing only to look across the street and see some losers playing mini-golf?

Between my friends, museum is code word for Strip Clubs...

... because NO TOUCHING!!

What did the owner of a strip club say when he found his girls slacking off?

C’mon ladies, are you twerking hard or hardly twerking?

Why don't they let whales into strip clubs?

They tend to humpback.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend loves cats and wanted to go to a bowling alley today. So I took her out to Racks and Balls Bowling Alley & Strip Club

There might not be cats... but there will be pussy.

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Did you hear about the tornado that blew through the strip club?

It was a real titty-twister!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman enter a strip club...

They immediately sit in front of the front podium just when the club's top performer Chasity comes out to perform.

She bends over in front of the three men. The Scotsman pulls out a £10 note and sticks it on on her left arse cheek.

The Englishman pulls out £20 and sticks it on her righ...

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What's the most commonly played song at a strip club in Iraq?

Baghdad ass up.

I got a job at the strip club.

"I help the girls get dressed and undressed."

"Great gig. How much?"

"Twenty dollars a day."

"That's not very much."

"It's all I can afford."

What does an unchallenging mini-golf course have in common with a strip club?

During daytime hours they’re both sub-par

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Funny & dirty strip club joke

A man went to a strip club and took a seat in the front row. As soon as the first dancer walked out the guy directly behind him yelled "yh Baby thats what i've been waiting for." the man in the front row turned around and gave him a dirty look.

A few minutes later the stripper took of her to...

Strip clubs are deplorable. They're a moral black hole where the worst of the male half come to ogle at objectified naked women and frankly I feel they should be banned and anyone who walks through the door called out as a pervert.

...

But since we're here...

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Do you know the difference between a day care and a strip club?

If you don't you're a sick mothafucker

Why do Native Americans dance at strip clubs?

They want to make it rain.

Why is a buffet like a strip club?

You'll regret going to a cheap one.

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Wife takes husband to strip club for his bday....

A wife decides to reward his good husband for his bday by taking him to a strip club.
As they walk in the doorman says "welcome Mr. Howard", wife stares at husband with a surprised look, as they sit down the waitress comes over and says "scotch on the rocks Mr Howard", wife starts getting angry,...

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