What is the best website find information about a DJ?


Why are DJs bad at fishing?

They always drop the bass

A radio DJ is on air and comes up with a competition

The winner will get £1000 if they can come up with a word, not in the dictionary without checking.

Several listeners call in but unfortunately their responses were already in the dictionary.

Hamish, a Scottish listener, phones in and says "Goan"

The DJ checks the dictionary an...

What is DJ Khalids favorite number?

11 because it has another one

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When the DJ at a club played "Jump," we all jumped.

When he played "Come On Eileen," we all ended up with a court date for sexual assault.

There's nothing in the Guinness Book about digital DJs.

They don't hold any records.

What did the DJ say when showing off his marmelade?

Thats my JAM!

What do you call a DJ who’s stopped breathing?

Off the air.

One day, DJ Khalid’s son found a magical lamp...

One day, DJ Khaled’s son stumbled upon a magical lamp. After rubbing it, a mystical genie poured out of the stem and asked for boy what he wanted for his wishes. Knowing his father’s great love of music, the boy wished to become a keyboard, something Khaled enjoyed using for his music. “Granted”, sa...

Did you ever hear the one about the stuttering DJ?

He really liked to "D-D-DDDD-DROP THE BASS"

Farmers hired a DJ for pest control

To drop some sick beets

Why does DJ Khaled shout his name at the beginning of the songs he produces?

So you know that it's time to change the channel.

When the DJ plays "Macarena", I do the Macarena

when the DJ plays "Hokey Pokey", I do the Hokey Pokey. When the DJ plays "Come on Eileen". I get arrested.

I opened a record/DJ store in Israel but it went out of business.

Maybe “The Vinyl Solution” wasn’t the best choice of name

Why can't a seal be a DJ

Because they are afraid of club hits

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Different sayings same thing

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

 5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus ...

My local night club has had to fire their resident DJ

Apparently he wasn't up to scratch

I hate puns about DJ Khaled

I can't bear to hear another one.

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A cabbage said to a DJ “lettuce turnip the beet”

“Why the fuck is there a cabbage at this party?” thought the DJ

Yo, I'm your DJ, erectile dysfunction

I'm going to make sure you all go hard, even though I can't

I got to be the DJ at my uncle's wedding

Apparently, having "I Love Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo play ruined the mood for everybody.

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A local radio station was running a competition

A local radio station was running a competition - words that weren't in the dictionary yet could still be used in sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.

DJ: "96FM here, what's your name?"

Caller: "Hi, my name's Dave."

DJ: "Dave, what's your word?"<...

What religion did the witch DJ follow?

Wicca Wicca

What do you call a plant that is a DJ?

A photosynthesizer


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What do you say to a bad DJ ?

" David guetta fuck outta here"

My son refused to join the family DJ business. But then returned 6 months later, begging for a job.

Oh, how the turntables.

DJ Khaled's real name is Khaled Khaled.

His parents must have liked their last name so much they said "Another One"

Why can’t seals be famous DJs?

Because they’re scared of club hits

What's the difference between a DJ and a gynecologist ?

None : they both work where others have fun.

One day a DJ for a local radio station wanted to change things up.

He wanted to start playing more up beat music, so he went to the manager of the station and told him his idea. The manager said he would look into it.

A few days go by and the manager comes back to the DJ and tells him there is a problem with one of the songs he wants to play from The Beach B...

What was Albert Einsteins DJ name?

MC Squared

What does a cop and a dj have in common

They both tell drunk people to put their hands up

What do DJs call their puppies?


What's the difference between Mike Tyson and DJ Kahled?

Tyson went down eventually.

I love dances at weddings ...

Especially since I'm not a great dancer. Most of the songs tell you what to do. Like when they play "Do The Twist," you twist. They play "Jump Around", you jump around ... There was, however, that unfortunate night I got kicked out when the DJ played "Come On Eileen."

I'm going to be a DJ at a retirement home this weekend.

With an average age of 81 years old, will the song "Last Christmas" be inappropriate?

At my granddaughter’s wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest.

It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?”

I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.”

Everyone then looked at my husband and he said, “She’s probably right.”

My Hip Hop name is DJ Green Onion.

But you can call me Rapscallion.

Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass

So I went to a club on friday night...

So I went to the club near my road and the DJ started playing Jump Around so I started jumping around. Next the DJ played the Twist, so natuarally, I did the twist. Then the DJ played come on Eileene, I got kicked out.

So ya wanna be a DJ??? visit this site


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A radio station

ran a contest for listeners to pick English words that are no longer in use but should be brought back. A caller called...

Hi, my name is Dave

Hi Dave. What's your word?

Goan, spelt G O A N

Ok it's not in the dictionary. How do we use this?


DJ Khaled was featured in a Weight Watchers commercial for losing weight...

...He must have stopped eating out...

How do you track down DJ Jazzy Jeff in the snow?

Follow the fresh prints

What’s DJ Khaled say his favorite gaming system is?

Wii the best

Why did the DJ get fired from the supermarket?

He kept dropping the beets.

Whats the top most request DJs in Hong Kong are getting

Clubbed to death

DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled's full name is Khaled Ibn Abdul Khaled, so basically his name is Khaled Khaled.

When his mum named him, he was like another one.

What do dj's dip their bread sticks in?


What's DJ Khalid's favorite kind of candy bar?

A nutter one.

Im so old, the DJ in this bar just dedicated his next set to me !

...and turned off the music

Why does Dj Khaled’s son have a babysitter?

He never plays himself

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A man dies and he's able to be in heaven and in hell for 1 day so he could choose which he likes best.

And heaven was boring as fuck and hell was a 24/7 hookers and blow non stop party. So the next day he goes back to st Peter? And says, "nah.. I'm going to stay in hell" and when he goes back down with the devil it's all torture and Sulphur and fire and brimstone and he goes to the devil and says "wh...

If Wolverine was a DJ what type of music would he make?


Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

DJ Khaled invented a weight loss app

Everytime you lose a pound, his voice comes on and says "Another one".

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How do dubstep DJs masturbate?

They wub one out

How many pounds does DJ Khaled plan to lose with Weight Watchers?

Another one

You used to be a better DJ than me...

But then the tables were turned...

If I was a DJ...

I'd wanna be called JD Dyslexic.

Where can you find information on every DJ in the world?


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A local radio station is having a contest: The first person to call in with a word the DJ has never heard of will win $1000.

So this guy calls in and when asked for the word, he says, "goan... G-O-A-N. Goan."

The DJ thinks for a moment and says, "That’s not even a real word!"

"Sure it is," argues the caller.

"Well, then use it in a sentence," says the DJ.

The caller replies, "Goan fuck yourself...

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DJ gets Caught Off Guard

A guy calls into a radio station and he says he has a joke for the DJ. The DJ goes, “Alright, let’s hear it.”

The caller asks, “First, are we allowed to say ‘penis’ on the air?”

The DJ says, “It is the specific medical or clinical term so yes, you can use it.”

Caller: “OK, what...

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Why do DJs like to pass gas?

*It gives them a chance to put their shit on BLAST!!*

I'm so sorry. I'll show myself out...

What happens when a DJ is playing a song with a small bass drop?

The crowd goes mild.

DJ Khaled was playing cards with his family.

And a mother won.

What does the blind DJ say?

"I can't see your hands!"

DJ vu.

The feeling you get when you've heard the same music in a club before.

What do you call someone who is a terrible DJ?


How many DJ Khaled's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter, we're still gonna need anotha one.

I tried to open a record/ DJ shop in Israel.

I probably shouldn’t have named it Vinyl Solution.

Why did the DJ turn his life around?

He realized the Errra Errra Errra of his ways.

How many DJ Khaleds does it take to change a light bulb?

Another one.

DJ Khaled has just declined a role in his upcoming biopic.

When asked about his decision, he was quoted to have said "never play yourself."

Why was the clumsy vegetable farmer a good dj?

Because he dropped the beet.

Credit: jayC137

Clumsy vegetarians make the best DJs. They’re always dropping beets.

[DJ] A man dug three holes and said....

Well, well, well...

Yes [DJ] = Dad Joke warning

It's honestly my dad's favorite joke.

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh?

I saw a how-to page on record scratch and DJ techniques.

It was a wikki-wikki Wiki.

Why can a woman never be a good DJ?

They will never listen to Logic or Reason.

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