UPJOKE
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Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Me: I can type 150 words per minute.

Interviewer: Wow! And what are your weaknesses?

Me: Every word is 'a'.

"The strengths I bring to this job? Excellent numeracy, a perfect memory,

and a fourth one... ugh, what was it?"

"What's your biggest weakness?" asked the job interviewer.

"I don't know my own strengths," I replied.

"What's your biggest strength?"

"I contradict myself."

At a recent job interview:

"What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths?"

"Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not."

"And your strengths?"

"I'm Batman"

Tomorrow, I was at another job interview.

I replied "Time Travel."

"What're your strengths... Wait a minute."

Astounded he asked.

A man goes for an interview

The first question he faces - "What are your strengths and weaknesses?"

Man - I have a good sense of humor, but my general knowledge is weak.

Interviewer - Okay tell me joke

Man - Knock Knock

Interviewer - Who's there?

Man - The first president of The United States...

I was at the eye doctor with my 92 year old dad and they were asking people if they’d mind answering a few questions while they waited for their appointments. My dad said sure and we sat down in a corner with this lady.

She went through her survey and, at the end, asked him for his greatest strengths and weaknesses.

“Well, weaknesses...” he said “I guess I sometimes have trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality”

"And your greatest strength?” She asked.

“Oh, I’m the Batman”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Job Interview

Interviewer: "What would you consider one of your strengths?"


Me: "I perform under pressure..."


Interviewer: "Can you get give me an example?"


Me: (deep breath) "Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu ba de PRESSURE, pushing down on me..."

[Interview]

"What are your strengths?"
Me: I fall in love easily.
"Okay... what are your weaknesses?"
Me:Those blue eyes of yours.

There's Jesus on the cross

He's there, everybody went away, only two guards waiting for him to die.

At a certain point he starts calling "Peter! Peter!".

Peter hears him and runs to the hill. He arrives, but the guards stop him, and since he was resisting they cut off his arms and send him away.

A few min...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Loving Wife

A couple years ago I met the love of my life. She's beautiful, intelligent, and compliments all of my weaknesses with her strengths. Recently, she became pregnant and I could not be more filled with joy. We found out we were having a boy, which was the perfect icing on the cake. Now there will be so...

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