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An old couple walked into a bar.....

And sat down to have a drink.

The wife said "Remember, when we were 17, we used to come here for drinks, and then sneak off to have sex on the fence behind the bar?"

The husband replies " Sure do. Want to try it again for old times sake?"

"Yes" the wife replies.

Now,behin...

After completing filming of License to Kill, Timothy Dalton was dismayed when producers told him they wanted him to retire from the James Bond franchise.

He pleaded with producers to give him just one more film but they already had his replacement lined up, a younger actor they felt was more suitable for the leading role in an action movie. But Dalton wouldn't quit that easily. He convinced the producers that if he could best his would-be replacement...

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[LONG][STORY][NSFW] The King's Daughter's Guards

In a land that is far from here, but not so far from there, in an ancient time that is not so long ago, there lived a king.
Now, this king had a daughter, the most beautiful young woman in the entire world. As she grew to the age when suitors started appearing, the king grew paranoid that she w...

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The generals' stroll

Two generals are walking through a military base when they notice a pile of dog shit in front of them. They stop, examining it ponderously and begin to debate. The debate stretches on and on until the taller and thinner of the two calls out to a nearby soldier:

"I say, private! Tell us what t...

Coke Addict and the Genie

So a cocaine addict finds a lamp, rubs it and out pops a Genie

"So seeing as you have released me, you have 3 and only 3 wishes. What is you first wish?"

"I would like a big, fat line of the best coke in the world, and make sure you get yourself one too"
Sure enough two lines of cok...

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[NSFW] A joke wiretapped from out former minister of foreign affairs

A man goes into the new brothel. He is vigourously greeted by the pimp who shouts:

"Come in, come in, we have the best prices! $15 for a handjob, blowjob $25, anal $30!"

"Wow, these are good prices. How much for good old pussyfucking? "

"Well, we ain't got that yet, I'm still al...

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A senior nun walks in on an novice...

... who was vigourously masturbating with a cob of corn.

The Mother Superior says: "That's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and you know I hate the taste of corn!"

"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.

"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"

"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"

"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his Weiner."

The teacher gasped in horror as T.J ...

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