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A good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessities

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets.

When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. ...

Why are Australians stocking up on toilet paper in response to Coronavirus?

They think it will have a major impact down under.

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The people in netherland are stocking up with toilet paper and weed

For shits and giggles.

There's shop in the mall selling ice picks, knives, leather gloves, shovels, brass knuckles, ropes, and women's stockings

It was called "Accessories To The Crime"

Jack and Jim are busy stocking the aisles at Sams Club...

They're stacking pallets of Lipton's. They're about to put the last pallet on top when the forklift breaks down.
"Oh NO!", Jim exclaims, "How will we get this last pallet on top without killing ourselves?"
"Don't Worry", says Jack," just go pick up one of those disposable Bic's on the sh...

The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market Crash of 1929

But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they're stocking for dumps

Why did the stocking take a break from Christmas this year?

He needed to work on his mantel health.

Put a Christmas stocking outside yesterday and found it crusty this morning.

Proof that Santa came last night.

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I THINK I’m In TROUBLE

I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license...
and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."...

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I finally lost it with the hoarding!

Was just at Walmart and saw a man who’s cart was full of sanitizers soaps wipes and toilet paper.

I called him a selfish bastard and gave him a low down on the elderly, moms, and people who really need those things. I told him he should be ashamed of himself.

He said “Are you done? Cu...

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An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon....

An out of work pianist with Tourette's Syndrome was strolling around the streets and bars of Soho one sunny afternoon.

Walking down Dean Street he sees a lounge bar with a sign in the window: 'Pianist wanted for evening performances'.

"Fucking get in there you cunt!" he says to himself...

I bought my girlfriend an artificial leg for Christmas this year

I thought it would make a great stocking filler

If Donald Trump gets coal in his stocking...

Is he happy or sad about it?

A fast food worker was stocking utensils when he ran out.

He went back to the manager and asked if she could order more.
"We don't need anything," said the manager.


"Okay, but...that's the last straw."

My wife

My wife came into the bedroom and in a strict voice she said "take my blouse off", so I took her blouse off.

"Take my shoes off", I took her shoes off

"Remove my skirt", I removed her skirt.

"Take my stockings off", slowly I took her stockings off.

"Now remove my bra", I ...

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Danish, French and Italian women ...

A Danish guy, a Frenchman and an Italian man got together in a bar in Berlin after attending the long and boring business conference. Their talk drifted to the subject of women, of course, with each man claiming that the women in their home country were the sexiest and most sensual.

"If we we...

A woman goes into a drugstore.

"Do you sell XL condoms?" she asks the pharmacist.

"Yes, of course, family planning is in aisle 5," he replies.

"Thanks," she says, and walks over.

About a half hour later the pharmacist is stocking shelves and sees the woman still standing in aisle 5.

"Did you find the c...

What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking for Christmas?

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!

A father puts a gold watch in one son's stocking and a pile of manure in the other son's...

The first son brings the watch to his father and with a worried face says, "dad I'm not sure what to do with this watch, it's fragile, and small, and I don't really wear watches. I don't like it."


The father wasn't surprised by his son's reaction because he typically has a poor perspecti...

Why did the one legged man get a prosthetic leg for Christmas?

It was a stocking stuffer.

This happened just this evening at the grocery store...

I was in the produce section, and happened to notice a rather striking looking woman. We smiled and went about our business, but as I was picking out my green onions, I saw a flash of light, and the woman screamed.

When I turned around, her entire right arm was engulfed in flames! Luckily the...

The year 2192

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...

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