I finally asked Stacey to prom!!!

She was my neighbor for years and it took me months of planning and going back and forth to ask her out. My friend Richy thought if i was this nervous i shouldn’t ask her our, but when i finally did she said yes

When we got to the dance i introduced her to Richy and my other friends who went ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peters first date with Stacey was going well.

As they sat in Peters car on a remote country road,Stacey made an announcement

"I'm actually a prostitute,and if you want any action it will cost you $50.00."

"Well," Peter shot back.

"I'm actually a cab driver,and if you want a ride back to your house it will cost you $100.00."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stacey

Her name was Stacey.

One day I asked Stacey out on a date.

She turned me down.

You see I used to have a stutter, and she thought that it was annoying.

I was like: “Okay, whatever b-b-b-bitch.”

I didn’t see her again for two years.

I was walking on the street...

Little John gets home from school.

His mother, Stacy, asked him If he had any home work.

He let Stacy know that he did in fact have some but that he would really enjoy it tonight and even finish it before dinner!

For dinner Stacy made a wonderful Chicken Cordon Blu which was her Husband, Kyle's, favorite meal.
...

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Little Johnny and his family are preparing for Christmas dinner.

Johnny goes upstairs to his brothers room while he’s playing video games. His brother gets a kill and yells “Yeah, eat that bitch!”
Little Johnny asks, “Hey bro, what does that word mean?”
His brother looks around hurriedly and replies “It means uh...a lovely lady.”

Little Johnny goe...

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A man dies and goes to hell..

When he reaches hell he is stopped by the Devil. The devil tells him that, because this man was such a sonofabitch, and the Devil was genuinely impressed by his sonofabitchery, he would let the man choose what his punishment would be for the rest of eternity. The Devil leads the man to the dungeon...

Alan and Mary

Alan and Mary lived on a cove at Gull Lake, Alberta, Canada.

It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over.

Alan asked Mary if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer.

She asked him for some ...

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