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Spraying Jokes

Tried to photograph formica spraying acid

But they wood-ant cooperate

I hate when my hose stops spraying water.

But then I remember not to kink shame.

wasp spray

A guy walks into his local pub and finds the bartender out cleaning off the dining area on the patio and spraying for bugs. "Flying insect spray, huh?" the guy asks as he picks up the can and examines the label. "Is this stuff good for wasps?" "No," the bartender replies. "It kills them."

In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a mathematician...

... are sleeping when a fire breaks out.

The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.... After what seems hours of heroic fighting the fire is gone and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. The physicist wakes up, notic...

I saw a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font.

Now that is bold.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to kill a spider by spraying it with a whole can of White Rain hair spray

But that didn't work, now it's wearing blue eye shadow and chain smoking Virginia Slims.

What do you call a febreeze spraying ant?

Deodorant

A priest just started spraying holy water on people with reckless abandon

It was a blessacre!

My boss asked me why I was spraying my mouse with WD40

I told him it wouldn’t stop squeaking

TIFU by spraying water on a topless model

Now all the seats are wet

Police are pepper spraying protesters at the Inauguration today.

I don't know if that is to hurt them, or just give them all Orange Face?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw two black kids spraying their names on a wall today.

I decided to join them. I'd only sprayed the first three letters of my name when they started to beat me up.

Maybe they don't like people called Nigel.

Someone has been spraying graffiti of what appears to be corporate ledgers all around my neighborhood.

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls.

The hot farmer

A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer. "Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in...

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